To Protect
by xxcentaurus
Summary: Alfred's business trip takes a turn for the worst when he and his friend Lovino are involved in a plane crash. Friendships will be tested, and strangers could become enemies, or maybe something else.
1. Business Trips and Beginnings

"Hey Lovino!" I heard my roommate yell, as he noisily burst into our apartment.

I slowly lifted my eyes from the magazine I was flipping through, to shoot him an unamused look. "Welcome back Alfred," I answered, sarcasm dripping off each word.

"Oh my god, guess what?" he shouted, as he squeezed in beside me on the couch.

I tossed the magazine to the side, before crossing my arms over my chest. "What?" I asked, clearly irritated.

Well, in actuality I didn't mind that Alfred was talking to me. He was a broken record at times, but it wasn't as if there was anyone else in the apartment I could share a conversation with. I looked at Alfred, and got ready to listen to some boring crap about his life.

"I'm going on a business trip to Vancouver in two days!" he exclaimed, while waving his arms around for emphasis.

I had no idea where that was, so naturally I stared at him with a blank expression. Alfred kept grinning, while looking at me as if he was expecting a response. Eventually it got awkward to the point where I had to reply.

"Sounds interesting," I said, attempting to seem legitimately interested.

"But that's not the best part!" he declared, grabbing me by my shoulders.

I shrugged him off, and tried to position myself as far away from him as the couch would allow. But in the end it didn't help, because _nothing_ discouraged Alfred.

"Guess who gets to come with me?" he asked, while leaning over and trying to grab me again.

I smacked his arms away, and tried to suppress a chuckle. It wasn't that I enjoyed wrestling with my roommate or anything, Alfred's face just looked so ridiculous.

"God dammit, just tell me you idiot!" I shouted.

Alfred laughed and and sat back on his heels. "Just my favourite Italian roomie!"

I crossed my arms, and smirked at him. "I didn't know we had another roommate," I exclaimed, with fake surprise. "Where does he live, your closet?"

"Dude," he pouted, dragging out the syllables. "Come on, Canada's great, we'd have an awesome time and you know it!"

I thought about the offer. On one hand, staying at the apartment would be pretty dull. But there was no way Alfred could convince me to take a plane, and go to some strange place called Vancouver. I was perfectly happy in Syracuse, where everything was familiar and normal.

"So is all this quiet a yes?" Alfred asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.

I paused for a minute, before providing him with a harsh answer. "No."

"Okay, well you asked for it!" he said with a devious smiled on his lips.

"Asked for wha—"

I was cut off by Alfred attacking my stomach with his fingers. Okay maybe he was just tickling me, but it seemed more like an attack. I felt laughter being forced out of my throat, as my stupid roommate relentlessly slide his fingers up and down my sides. I tried to fight back, but the idiot was sitting on my lower body so all I could do was try to grab at his hands.

"S-stop!" I choked out, between gasps of laughter.

"Only if you come to Vancouver with me!" Alfred smirked.

That goddamn jerk was too mischievous for his own good. "Ugh fine, I surrender!" I gasped out.

I stopped struggling and raised my arms above my head. "So you'll come?" he asked, while getting off of me.

I covered my face with my hands and let out a loud sigh. "Fine, but what am I even suppose to do while you're at meetings?"

"I don't know," he shrugged. "But it will be like a little vacation!"

"Dammit, I don't like vacations!" I sighed loudly again. "How long will we be gone?"

"We're only going to be there for four days, so pack light!" he said with another stupid grin.

"I will," I replied, sounding less than excited.

Alfred got up off the couch, and walked towards the kitchen. As he passed by where I was lying, he ruffled my hair. "Dude, I promise it will be fun," he smiled. "Don't you trust your bestie?"

"No, I'm not an idiot," I retorted, with a smirk.

"What's that suppose to mean?" Alfred laughed as he left the room.

* * *

To get to our destination, Alfred and I had to take a plane from Syracuse to Toronto, then another from Toronto to Vancouver. Sadly enough the two days past quickly, and the next thing I knew, I was being dragged off towards the Syracuse International Airport.

"I'm so happy you agreed to come," Alfred said excitedly, with a big smile on his face.

"You forced me to, don't think I'm doing this out of my free will," I retorted.

He was in the middle of hauling our two carry-on sized suitcases into the trunk of his car, while I watched with a frown. Alfred was a sales representative, and was always traveling for his company. Honestly, I hoped he wouldn't have too many meetings to attend because I hated being alone. That was kind of the main reason I agreed to come in the first place, with his relentless tickling coming as a close second. I rolled my eyes at the memory.

You know, I couldn't really picture Alfred all dressed up for a meeting. Whenever I saw him, he was always in casual clothes, acting borderline annoying. Like today for example, he was wearing ripped up skinny jeans, and a light brown hoodie. His golden blond hair was all tousled, and he looked like a teenager, not someone about to attend important meetings.

Well, I guess I couldn't really talk. I was also wearing skinny jeans, except I had on a navy blue button up shirt, which I rolled the sleeves up to my elbows. Being fresh out of college, I didn't have too much in my wardrobe, but this shirt had always been my favourite.

It was early October, so naturally we had fall weather. I didn't know much about Vancouver, but I sincerely hoped I had packed for the right temperature.

"Alright, let's go!" Alfred exclaimed as he slammed the trunk of his car closed.

I made my way to the passenger seat, while Alfred revved up the engine like a teenager in his first car. The drive to the airport was short, yet tedious. Alfred droned on and on about how great Vancouver was going to be, while I tuned him out and gave him the occasional yeah or okay.

However, the next part of the trip would be by far, the worst. I mean I already hated road trips, so obviously I found planes so much worse. The only decent part of flying was the fact that I could just sit down, and wait for it to be over.

Alfred's voice pulled me out of my thoughts. "Here's your boarding pass," he said, while handing me the papers he had printed off the night before.

Afterwards we headed to security. It didn't take too long, and to my relief we were finally allowed to board the plane afterwards. Almost the second I sat down, I wrapped my neck pillow around my neck, and promptly fell asleep. I could hear the flight attendant's shrill voice fade out, as the plane's engines groaned to a start.

* * *

"Lovino?" Alfred's voice invaded my head. "Lovino wake up, we're landing."

I yawned and stretched as I woke up. Even though I had gotten a good sleep the night before, my nap definitely made me feel more alert.

"You have to put your seat belt on," he informed, while gesturing towards his own seatbelt.

I snapped the straps across my waist, before leaning back, and staring out the narrow window. I wondered wether the trip would be fun or not. I had never been to Canada, so the whole experience would be new for me.

It took a while for the plane to fully land and start letting people off, so I had a very long time to day dream. I thought about how it was kind of interesting that Alfred and I stayed friends all these years. We had met in our junior year of high school, and six years later we were sharing an apartment, while trying to get our lives started. Back in high school, we got along fairly well. It was a surprising friendship though, because he was the stereotypical jock, while I was just your average guy. But it didn't matter because now we were, what Alfred likes to call, "best friends for life".

"Race you through this tube thing," Alfred joked, while gesturing towards the small tunnel like structure that connected the plane to the Toronto airport.

"Stop being so immature," I said with a glare, trying to sound mature myself.

Alfred and I were dragging our carry-ons through the connector, and there was a large amount of people tailing and leading us. He was such an idiot, I thought with a small smile.

The plane was fairly close to the airport, so it didn't take long for us to arrive in the terminal. Once there, we were ushered to the Canadian customs.

Alfred handed our passports to the border patrol, and did all the talking. He blabbed on and on about the business he worked for, and the meetings he had to attend in Vancouver, while I stood behind him with my arms crossed.

"Alright sir, who are you traveling with?" the man behind the glass asked, finally acknowledging me.

"Oh this?" Alfred said, sounding like he had forgotten about my existence. "He's my friend, I didn't want him to get lonely or anything so he's coming to Vancouver with me."

I suppressed a glare, as Alfred made me sound like a complete loser in front of the border patrol.

"Okay," the man said with a smile, while stamping our passports. "Enjoy your stay in Canada."

Alfred smiled back, while taking our passports. "Okay Lovino, now we just have to wait an hour or so before getting onto another plane!" he exclaimed, as we wheeled our carry on suitcases towards one of the many waiting areas in the airport.

"Whatever, I don't even want to be here," I mumbled.

Alfred and I sat down in the large waiting area for our next plane, flight one-fifty-seven. I wasn't surprised to see that we were pretty much the only ones there. Boarding wasn't for an hour, so I guessed more people would show up later.

"I'm going to look for something to eat," Alfred said, while standing up. "Is there anything you want?"

I knew for a fact that airport food was always over priced, and usually less than satisfactory. But I also knew that I had to eat something, because we'd be on the plane to Vancouver for five hours, and airplane food would be ten times worse.

"I'll just have whatever you're having," I answered with a sigh.

Alfred just nodded, before running off, down the long hallway.

There really wasn't much to do while waiting, so I began flipping through one of the magazines the airport provided. It was just an average female fashion magazine, but it was better than doing nothing. The images were of overly thin models, wearing clothes that were way too revealing. All I knew, is that I wouldn't want to see any of those outfits on a woman I'd be interested in.

Suddenly I was pulled from my thoughts by a pleasant Spanish accent. "Um excuse me sir, is this where the flight to Vancouver boards?" A man with slightly curly brown hair asked.

He was wearing a light fall jacket, over a thin grey hoodie, with dark skinny jeans and black combat boots. Much like Alfred, he could have passed as a teenager, I thought with a smirk.

He better not have seen the magazine I had been reading, because that would be somewhat embarrassing. I quickly flattened it across my lap, and awkwardly leaned over it, before giving the guy a quick reply. "Yeah, but not for another forty minutes."

"Okay then, I guess I'll just have to wait," he sighed with a small pout. "Do you mind if I sit here?" he continued, his facial expression quickly changing to an annoying smile.

"Sure, I don't care," I answered.

Honestly, the only reason I agreed was because the magazine was getting boring. Besides, this guy seemed friendly enough.

"I'm Antonio by the way," the brunet said, while sitting down in the seat beside mine.

"Lovino," I introduced myself.

He was eying the magazine across my lap, so I quickly explained it. I could feel my face heat up as I talked. "Uh, there weren't any others, and I was really bored, and—" I was cut off by Antonio's soft laughter.

"So Lovino, why are you going to Vancouver?" he asked, and to my relief, changed the subject.

"Alfred, the guy I'm traveling with has a bunch of meetings there, I figured I'd tag along," I replied, trying to make myself seem less lame. "Why are you going?"

I was never any good at making conversation, but for some reason I had felt like trying that day. Alfred liked to think of me as anti social, but in reality, I just hate people too much to bother talking to them. This Antonio guy seemed, _alright_. I mean compared to most people, he was only a little annoying with all that smiling.

"I've got some friends that live there, and I'm visiting them for a week," he answered.

"Oh that's uh, nice," I tried to sound genuine.

"Yeah. I haven't seen them in a while, I'm pretty excited," he said with another big smile.

"So why are you going to Vancouver?" Wait, I already asked that, crap this was bad I thought, after accidentally letting the question slip.

I felt my cheeks heat up again as I waited for his obvious reply. I hadn't meant to ask the same question twice, in a row, I just wanted to say something and that was the first thing that popped into my mind.

"You're funny," Antonio chuckled. "Am I making you nervous or something?" he continued, while staring at me with a questioning gaze. Okay, well I hadn't been expecting that reply.

"W-what?" was all I managed to say, before finding my words, "no I just, I forgot what you said dammit!"

"Okay, well I'm going to Vancouver to meet up with some friends," he repeated.

Antonio probably thought I had problems. At first I felt a bit embarrassed, but then I remembered that there was no way I'd ever have to see him again, so there was no reason to feel bad.

"That's sounds nice," I said, trying to keep the conversation going.

Antonio laughed again. "You already said that too Lovi!"

Oh right, I had already said that—wait did he just call me Lovi? It was probably suppose to be some sort of nickname, but to me it just sounded odd. Especially coming from a stranger, I thought with a cringe.

"What the hell you idiot!" I exclaimed, forgetting about the fact that I had been trying to have a normal conversation. "You can't just give a complete stranger a nickname!" I felt my cheeks heat up for the third time that conversation.

"Well you can't call a stranger an idiot, unless they've cut you in traffic, or done something equally rude," he replied with another laugh.

You'd think I was a comedian with the amount of times I'd made that guy laugh, I thought, while trying to hold back a chuckle of my own.

"S-sorry," I stuttered out, trying not to laugh.

"It's okay," Antonio replied with a smile, "but only if I can call you Lovi."

I sighed, before crossing my arms over my chest. "Fine," I agreed.

"So _Lovi_ ," he began, putting emphasis on my name, "where are you from?"

"Syracuse," I replied. "I'm guessing you're not from around here," I continued.

He just grinned. "Actually I'm Canadian," he clarified. "My accent must have thrown you off."

"Yeah, it did," I admitted.

I wasn't one to judge; english wasn't my first language either. I internally smiled, as I remembered the fond memories of Alfred and I suffering through projects in english class. At least I had an excuse for having trouble, he was just plain dumb.

"I moved here fifteen years ago, when I was eleven," he explained. "From Spain."

I absentmindedly calculated his age in my head. It took a few moments, but I concluded that he was twenty-six, four years older than me.

"What about you?" he inquired.

"I grew up in the US, but Italian is my first language," I replied.

"Ciao, ti amo," he said, out of nowhere.

I felt my heart speed up as I understood the words, regardless of the slight mispronunciation.

"W-what?" I exclaimed.

"Hello and I love you," Antonio shrugged, before running a hand through his light brown hair. "They're the only words I know in Italian."

"That's weird," I exclaimed, a small smile grazing my lips.

"Well what words do you know in Spanish?" he asked, eyeing me with kind green eyes.

I had never taken any Spanish classes in school, so the only words I knew were from television, or celebrity interviews.

Reluctantly, I mumbled out the words I could recall, "Hola, dame un beso."

"Wow, that's so much better than me," he laughed, sarcasm laced into each word.

Suddenly Alfred interrupted our conversation. I had been concentrating so much on Antonio I didn't even noticed him walk into my line of vision. "Hey I brought you a burger, who's this guy?" he asked rudely.

I was about to answer, but Antonio beat me to it. He turned around to face Alfred, "I'm Antonio, you must be the guy Lovi's traveling with?"

"Um yeah," Alfred replied, in an annoyed voice, rather than his normal happy one. "Listen dude, you're kinda in my spot so—"

Antonio cut him off. "Oh no worries, I'll just go over there," he said in friendly voice, while dragging his suitcase over to the other side of the waiting area. "Bye Lovi," he called, "it was nice talking to you."

"Yeah, bye," I replied.

You know, I was never amazing at sensing the mood, but in this situation the tension was so thick I could almost see it. Meanwhile, Alfred grumpily sat down beside me, and passed me my food. "Eat up dude, we're going to be on that plane for a really long time."

I nodded, before taking a bite.

We sat in comfortable silence, until finally, a flight attendant told us they were ready to start boarding the plane. Since we had gotten there, a large amount of people had accumulated in the waiting area for the flight, so it took a while for us all to board.

Unfortunately, Alfred and I weren't able to to get seats beside each other, so rather than being beside me, he was several rows in front. It hardly mattered though, it wasn't like I was planning on talking to him, I thought while pulling out my neck pillow. After listening to the flight attendant's instructions on using the oxygen masks, I got into position to take another siesta.

* * *

Suddenly I was rudely awoken by the loud ding of the intercom. "We are experiencing some turbulence, so please fasten your seat belts," a flight attendant's voice informed.

Since I had woken up, I was able to feel the plane being jerked around in the wind. _Some_ turbulence? It felt more like _major_ turbulence. Now that I thought about it, I had never experienced so much turbulence in my life.

The plane was in a death match with the wind for a few more minutes, before a loud metallic tearing sound was loud in everyone's ears. "What the fuck is going on?" I heard someone scream behind me. There were many more similar screams that followed.

"We are now experiencing some more serious turbulence, please keep calm—" another strong jerk to plane, sent it spiralling to the side.

I felt fear grip my chest. All I could think about was how high the plane was, and what could happen if we crashed. Suddenly I watched as the plane's right wing tore completely off. The loud tearing noise it created sent the entire plane into panic.

But just as quickly as it came, there was nothing.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading chapter one! Please feel free to leave a review, your input/opinion would be greatly appreciated.**


	2. Spend Forever

Day 1

I felt myself slowly regain consciousness, as the pounding in my head increased. Carefully, I cracked open my electric blue eyes, and tried to remember what happened. As I looked around I was met with a terrifying sight. The plane had crashed, and I was still inside it's wreckage. The seat I had been in was overturned, leaving sharp protruding metal in it's place. Somehow I had ended up on the ground in between my seat, and the one ahead of me.

My heart burned with shock when I noticed the person I had been seated with. She was still in her seat, except she was bent backwards over where it had broken. Bleach blonde hair hung from her head, it was matted in some places, died red in others. I noticed her ghostly face, which was frozen in an eternal state of agony. The metal I had mentioned earlier had forced it's way through her stomach, exposing bloody intestine, and staining the front of her salmon pink blouse.

Immediately tears prickled at my eyes, and the burning sensation of nausea bubbled in my stomach. Once I was over the initial shock, I could only feel sadness; she didn't deserve the cruel fate she had received.

As I snapped out of my short daze, the sound of terrified and pained screams became loud and horrifying. The dying men, women, even children, were howling like wolves. I could only imagine the fatal injuries they had sustained from the crash.

But it was worse when they stopped.

I sat up, and tried to get a better idea of the damage. From what I could see, the plane had split into two pieces, the other half was lying about fifty yards to the left. But that wasn't the worst part. There were bodies everywhere, in equal condition as the woman I had been fretting over. As I looked around at the destruction and corpses, I couldn't help thinking about how those were people, just like me or Lovino. Speaking of Lovino, where the hell was he?

I felt my heart speed up, as panic began rising in my chest. Miraculously my glasses where still on my face, so hopefully finding Lovino would be easy.

I carefully stood up, counting myself lucky when it became obvious I had no serious injuries. "Lovino?" I called, as loudly as possible. "Are you alive?"

When I was met with no reply, I gripped the seats and used them to propel myself forward. I hurdled over the bodies of the dead, and made my way towards where my roommate had been sitting.

It didn't take too long to spot the Italian. He was still in his seat, unconscious, with his head lolled to the side. My breathing quickened, as I felt paranoia creep through my body like a virus. Slowly, I raised my arm so I could hover my hand under his nose. The second I felt breath, I was filled with relief.

I also noticed some blood matting his hair, but when I got a closer look it didn't seem serious. Letting out a sigh, I squatted down so we were eye level.

"Hey, are you okay?" I asked quietly, while lightly shaking his shoulder.

He groaned, and grimaced as he regained consciousness. Instinctively, I gently brushed my hand through his dark brown hair, being mindful of his head injury. I leaned over and quietly whispered in his ear. "Don't worry dude, everything's going to be fine, I'll make sure of it," I tried to seem like I knew what I was talking about, but in actuality I was probably just as scared as him.

"A-Alfred?" Lovino stared at me with his large hazel eyes. "Fuck, what happened?" he continued, while rubbing his side.

"The plane crashed," I answered, while standing up to full height. "Are you okay?"

"You've asked that, like twice now," he stated, quickly moving his hand, to rest against the armrest.

Lovino just glared at the ground, when I didn't respond right away. I could tell he was trying to hide his fear, and tough it out, but I could see through his act. "Lovino," he raised his gaze when he heard his name. "I won't let anything happen to you, don't worry."

"Whatever, do what you want," he rolled his eyes as he stood up, and brushed past me.

I followed Lovino as he made his way out of the plane, through the large hole in centre. I kept my eyes on his back, worried to look around and see more of the carnage the plane had caused. I stumbled a few times, but it was better than seeing what had tripped me.

The aircraft had been transporting around two hundred passengers, and so far Lovino and I we're the only ones I knew were alive. I prayed that there were other survivors, just waiting outside of the plane to be rescued. I also prayed that _Antonio_ wasn't one of them. I'm not usually the kind of guy to hold grudges, but he had messed with _my_ best friend.

There are times I find it difficult to sense the atmosphere, but when I saw that sly _player_ talking to him, I knew he was just trying to mess with Lovino's heart. You see, my roommate is someone who acts tough on the outside. Only someone like me, who _actually_ knows him, can tell that he's just protecting his feelings.

"Where do you think we are?" I heard Lovino mumble, as he turned to face me.

Currently we were standing a couple feet away from the plane, staring into the moderately dense forest that surrounded the crash site. The trees were mostly conifers, with a few leafier ones mixed in.

"I don't know, my guess would be the giant forest the covers most of Canada," I replied, trying to think about Canadian geography. "But we shouldn't be, cause it's farther north than Vancouver."

Lovino gave me a questioning look. "I don't know shit about Canada, so I have no clue what you're saying," he replied.

I shrugged. "Maybe we went off course when all that turbulence happened," I suggested.

Lovino nodded in agreement, before continuing to stare off into the forest.

Suddenly I heard shouting, I whipped around to see two men, and a woman approaching. The first man had shoulder length, golden blond hair, and bright blue eyes. While the second man had similar colour hair, with piercing green eyes. The woman had an exotic face, tanned skin, and shiny brown hair to match.

"Is there any one else alive?" the first man asked. He had a noticeably french accent, which I had learned was very common in Canada.

"I'm not sure," I replied. "Lovino and I just got out of the plane, we haven't seen anyone else, alive."

The woman clung to the man with the long blond hair, she looked fragile and ready to cry. I wanted to find a way to help, but there were no words of condolence on my mind at the moment.

"Well what are we suppose to do now that the bloody plane crashed?" the other blond asked, angrily. He was waving his arms around, and looked ready to lose it.

"Don't ask me," I replied dryly. That wasn't a question anyone could answered.

The five of us were then left in somewhat awkward silence. We we're all probably thinking about the horrible situation, and how lucky we were was to be alive. I wondered if the people in front of me had any family that had died. I had Lovino, but there was a chance the others weren't so lucky.

"Hey, are your families okay?" I asked worriedly, trying to find the right words.

The french man smiled warmly, before putting an arm around the brunette woman, and pulling her close. "Yes, thank you, my sister Michelle and I are fine," he replied. "Oh by the way, I'm Francis. I probably should have said that earlier," he continued, shrugging sheepishly.

"Alfred," I said with a smile, "and this is my friend Lovino."

Then I turned to the other blond. "What about you?"

"I'm Arthur," he shrugged, before crossing his arms over his chest. "I'm traveling alone, so there's no one important to me dead in that bloody plane."

Suddenly I saw a pair of people hurrying towards us. The woman was shouting for help, while the man just trailed behind her. As they got closer, I soon recognized the guy's curly brown hair, and green eyes. My heart burned in dissatisfaction, as I worried about the trouble he would no doubt cause.

Finally they were close enough for the woman to explain the problem. "Someone please help, the pilot is stuck in the cockpit, we need to save him," she exclaimed frantically.

"Did he say anything about the crash?" Francis asked, while facing the woman.

"No, not really, but we need to help him, I'm sure he can answer all your questions once we get him out," she answered quickly, before gesturing for us to follow.

Just then, Antonio walked up to Lovino and I. "Hey, I'm glad you made it out," he said in a friendly voice.

I knew the comment was directed towards the Italian, but I decided to answer myself. "Thanks man, it's really nice to know that you were worried about me," I replied with a smirk, while stepping in front of Lovino.

He laughed uncomfortably before answering. "No problem, Alfred was it?"

"Yeah that's me," I said, with false enthusiasm.

My roommate elbowed my arm, before sending me a questioning stare. "What the hell, you're so weird," he hissed quietly, so only I could hear.

"Well, we should probably go see if the pilot's alright," I suggested awkwardly, while gesturing towards the rest of the survivors who had already begun heading towards the front of the plane.

"Good idea," Lovino mumbled.

* * *

The three of us jogged to the other piece of the plane. Since Lovino and I had been sitting in the back, we were not in the half of the plane with with cockpit during the crash. I had read somewhere that usually the people in first class have a smaller chance of surviving than those in the back, so I guess I could count myself lucky that my company didn't pay for first class seats.

Anyways, once we got to the front of the plane, we could see the pilot the woman had been talking about in the window. He was pacing around the cockpit, mumbling in a different language.

"Can't he just go through the door, and walk out through the broken part of the plane?" the outspoken British man suggested, with an annoyed stare.

"It's crushed, and won't open," the woman replied. "Maybe someone could kick it in?"

"I could try," I spoke up.

A few heads turned in my direction, looking at me questionably. "Please do," she said happily.

I turned to Lovino, "I'll be right back," I reassured.

"Whatever," was his curt reply. It hurt a bit that Lovino didn't seem to care about my wellbeing, but I shrugged it off.

I sprinted along the plane, until I reached the opening where the metal had been torn apart. Carefully, I stepped inside, and kept my eyes upward. There was just something about looking at the dead that freaked me out; I guess I just didn't want to become like them. It was almost as if seeing them once was enough to provoke fear in my mind.

Eventually, I made my way through the many seats, and reached the door to the cockpit. I saw how the hinges opened inward, so naturally the pilot wouldn't have been able to kick the door in from his side.

"Hey I'm about to kick in the door, you should stand back," I called.

"Alright, thank you," I heard to pilot reply, through the thick metal of the door.

I gave him a few moments to get away, before raising my foot, and slamming it against the door, full force. My dark blue converses didn't really add much power to the kick, but after a couple attempts, the door caved in anyway.

Almost immediately, the pilot exited the cockpit. "Thank you, I couldn't stand being in there," he said with a frown, while staring towards the body of another pilot. "I'm Ludwig."

"Alfred," I replied, returning the smile. "Nice to meet you Captain!"

The man gave a look of disapproval, before correcting me. "I'm actually the co-pilot, you can just call me Ludwig."

Ludwig had platinum blond, slicked back hair, and he was taller and much more muscular than than the average man. I noticed that his pilot uniform was ripped in some places due to the crash, but otherwise he seemed to be alright.

The two of us exited the plane, and headed towards the group. Once we arrived the other survivors gathered around the blond man.

"Hello I'm Ludwig, the co-pilot of this plane," he informed calmly.

"Can you tell us when we'll be found?" the woman who first brought us to Ludwig asked.

"What is your name miss?" the blond asked politely.

"Elizabeta, but you can just call me Eliza," she added.

"Okay, Eliza then," the co-pilot said, before explaining. "The search and rescue will probably be looking in the wrong spot since we have gone off course, so I don't have a good idea of how long we will be here. If I had to guess, I would say six days tops."

"Is there any way to contact them ourselves?" Francis questioned, while eying the radio like contraption strapped to Ludwig's belt.

The well-muscled man fingered his radio device. "I have this to contact other aircrafts, but there is no signal out here," he shrugged. "I do have this flare gun incase we need to be seen," he added, while showing the group the flare gun. Anyone else?"

"Why did the plane crash?" I asked, there must have been more to it than the turbulence.

"It was the harsh winds, they tore the wing off the plane, which caused it to crash," Ludwig explained. "When we first encountered the turbulence, we changed courses, but we were then met with worse winds. I don't even know our general location."

My jaw tightened, and my muscles tensed as I heard the information. I felt powerless and weak to the situation. There was nothing I could do to save the group from the horrors we faced, no matter how much I wished I could. I was a man who believed there was always something I could do to help, but there was nothing I could do to help us get saved from the monster that was the crash.

"Let's be real here, is anyone even looking for us?" Arthur questioned sourly.

His arms were crossed across his chest, and he rolled his eyes as he talked. Overall, the man wasn't making a very good first impression on the other survivors, but it hardly mattered to me. In all honesty, I found the realistic, yet pessimistic atmosphere he emitted somewhat humorous.

"Don't worry, while they may not know our exact location, they found out we went down when the plane didn't arrive at the terminal in Vancouver," Ludwig explained. "Search and rescue will be looking for us for sure," he continued, attempting to reassure everyone.

Suddenly I heard shouting; everyone turned around to see a small group of survivors approaching us.

The man with silvery hair spoke first. "We woke up in the plane, and everyone else was dead," he explained, in a noticeably accented voice. "Is this everyone that survived?" he continued, while eyeing the group.

"Yeah, so far this is everyone," the co-pilot confirmed. "Why, were you traveling with someone?"

"Yes, my sister Natalia," he revealed, before mumbling the next part. "I'm not going to be too sad if she's not alive though."

The dark brunet beside him spoke next. "I'm Sadiq by the way, and the Russian is Ivan," he said, while gesturing towards the silver haired guy. "The other guys are Kiku and Yao."

After many more awkward introductions, we were all left thinking about what to do next. The sun was almost set, so sky was darkening. It was evident that no matter what, we were all staying for the night.

"Alright everyone, night is approaching so we should all find somewhere to sleep," Ludwig suggested. "Salvage anything from the plane to use to keep warm, the night will be cold since it's October. Also, I suggest we all stay relatively close to each other to prevent anyone from getting lost."

The small group of survivors seemed to nod in agreement to the co-pilot's instruction.

* * *

Lovino and I ended up taking the stern blond's advice. We scouted the plane for our suitcases, before rooting through the cases of the dead to find suitable blankets to create makeshift beds.

Afterwards, we looked for somewhere comfortable to sleep. Eventually we found a decent spot. It was far enough away from the plane that the smell from the soon-to-be-rotting bodies couldn't reach us, while still being close enough to the rest of the survivors.

We had used one blanket to separate our bodies from the ground, while we each took one for ourselves.

It wasn't much, but the temperature didn't drop far enough to make it excessively uncomfortable. On the bright side, the cold temperature fended off the mosquitoes better than any repellant.

"I'm freezing dammit," I heard Lovino whisper.

At the moment we had our backs to each other, so instinctively, I turned myself so I could pull the smaller Italian into my arms. "There, is that better?" I asked quietly.

"You idiot, don't touch me!" he hissed, in a hushed whisper.

Lovino struggled to remove himself from my arms, but it was half-hearted. Eventually he just snuggled closer, for the warmth. A sincere smile grazed my lips, as I nuzzled into his neck.

In the past, there were times where I would just think about holding Lovino in my arms. There was just something about him that made me feel inexplicable happiness, almost as if we were meant to be together in some sort of way.

 _I don't know what Lovino is to me, but if I could spend forever with him, I would._

* * *

 **Thanks for reading chapter 2! Please feel free to review, and tell me what you think about this chapter.**


	3. Like Me

Day 2

I had always been a light sleeper, so naturally the bright rays of the sun hitting my eyelids caused me to wake. Immediately, I noticed the somewhat uncomfortable position I was in; my arms were pillowed under my head, and Alfred's arm was still wrapped around my back. Carefully, I rolled to the side until I was out of his grasp, and stood to full height.

To be honest, I felt disgusting. I hadn't had a shower in two days, and I had just spent the whole night, with someone else's ratty blankets as the only thing keeping me off the dirty ground. I had remembered seeing a stream not too for into the forest, so after pocketing a travel-sized shampoo bottle, I headed over there.

Once I arrived at the shallow stream, I bent down and dipped my hand into the water; it was cold, but not unbearable. All I knew is there was no way I was submerging my entire body in the icy water.

Being careful not to slip, I sat down on a large flat rock that was mostly underwater. I removed my socks and shoes, then unbuttoned my shirt, and placed everything to the side. After rolling my skinny jeans up to my knees, I let my feet dangle in the cool water.

Next, I began washing myself. I leaned down and cupped water in my hands, before bringing up to my hair. Icy droplets slid down my face; the sudden cold made me feel more awake, but I'd be lying if I said it was pleasant. Once my hair was dripping with water, I poured half of the shampoo into my hand, and began massaging it into my scalp. It felt liberating to cleanse myself from the dirtiness which was the crash. Any dirt or grease that had accumulated in my hair, was removed.

Afterwards, I washed the suds out of my dark hair, satisfied with the way they disappeared into the stream.

Suddenly I head someone approaching, so I slowly turned around to face the path I had come through. Soon, familiar curly brown hair came into view. It was Antonio.

"Oh hey," he greeted, once he spotted me. "Sorry, I didn't know anyone else was out here, I'll just head back."

I didn't want to prevent him from washing up. Not cause his cleanliness mattered, just cause I knew what it felt like to be in need of a shower. "You can stay, I don't care," I stated, before turning back around.

"Alright, thanks Lovi," he replied.

After a few moments, Antonio joined me on the rock. He had removed the same clothes as myself, meaning I could see his defined abs, and biceps. I suddenly began feeling slightly jealous, because compared to him, I wasn't too muscular.

"You know, I didn't picture you as an early riser," he commented, while rinsing his body with the stream water.

"Yeah, the sun woke me up," I explained. "I couldn't go back to sleep."

"That makes sense," he replied, while facing me. "Oh yeah, do you have any—"

I cut him off, by tossing the half empty bottle his direction. He caught it one-handed, before giving me a quick thanks.

The sun was really starting to come out, so the water was beginning to feel nice on my lightly tanned skin. After a little while though, I just sat on the rock, and watched Antonio. He was rinsing the shampoo out of his hair at the moment. I watched the soapy water trail down his tanned, well muscled back, before landing in the stream.

Just then, Antonio turned around and splashed water my direction. I flinched and backed up suddenly, causing pain to shoot through my side. Oh right, I had almost forgotten about that. I must have gotten hit by something during the crash, I thought.

"Got you," he chuckled, before noticing my grimace. "Lovi are you okay?" he asked, a worried look crossing his features.

I brought my hand around my stomach, and gently massaged my side. "Yeah, it's nothing," I answered cooly.

In all honesty, it didn't hurt much, it was more like a dull throbbing pain. "Here, let me see," he suggested, while scooting closer to me on the rock.

I sighed, before reluctantly moving my hand away. I felt uncomfortable with Antonio staring at my bare chest. I mean I wasn't self conscious or anything, it just felt weird.

"It looks really bruised," he said, stating the obvious.

"I know," I replied, looking over his shoulder, and into the forest. I felt like if he wasn't in my line of sight, I could just pretend he wasn't there.

Suddenly, I felt him gently brush his hand against my side. "D-don't touch me," I stuttered out, before flinching again.

"I'm really sorry," he said quickly, before backing up. "I just wanted to make sure nothing was broken."

He looked guilty, as if he had done something horribly wrong. I felt bad, not cause his feelings mattered or anything, I just didn't want him to think I was uptight over such a small thing. It looked bad on me.

"O-oh um, it's okay," I said, awkwardly. "I mean, you can check, if you still want to."

Antonio's guilty expression quickly changed to a small smile. "Alright Lovi," he said, before gesturing for me to come closer.

Once I did, he carefully pressed his fingers against my side in different areas, presumably checking for any breaks in my ribs. At first there wasn't much discomfort, but eventually Antonio's fingers pressed into an area where the bruising was the worst, causing me to cry out in pain.

Immediately, he took his hand away, and tangled it in his hair. "I'm so sorry, oh my god, I didn't mean to hurt you Lovi," he whispered rapidly in my ear.

I wanted to tell him I was okay, and that I could just tough it out, but I couldn't. I could feel tears gathering in my eyes due to the overwhelming pain radiating around my side, and any attempt to talk would just make them fall. When I didn't reply, Antonio tried to look me in the eyes, and most likely apologize again. But I couldn't have him see me so weak, so I just turned away.

"I'm so sorry I hurt you," he said, his voice laced with sadness and guilt.

"It wasn't you dammit, it was the crash," I shouted, sick of hearing him apologize.

I could feel hot tears sliding slowly down my cheeks, as my face heated up in embarrassment. Quickly, I brought my arm to my face, and furiously rubbed the wetness away. "I-I don't usually, uh, _cry_ ," I choked out, holding back a sob. "I-It just, it hurts okay?"

I glared at Antonio, this was all his fault. First he made my injury worse, and now he was watching me show weakness. Suddenly though, he did something I didn't expect. We were technically strangers, so I was extremely surprised when he pulled me into a loose hug, while whispering comforting words into my ear. My face was pressed into his bare shoulder, and he had his arms wrapped around my back. In a normal situation, I would have head butted him and ran. But this was not a normal situation.

In the end, I just let him hold me like that until the pain reduced back to a dull throb. "Okay, you can let go now," I said, satisfied with the way my voice had returned to normal.

Suddenly a new voice entered the conversation. "Yeah _Antonio_ , you can let go of him now," I heard Alfred mock, from somewhere behind me.

Antonio's grip around me loosened, before he brought his arms up in the air, in mock surrender. "He's all yours," he said, while smiling kindly at Alfred.

"Get over here Lovino, we need to talk," Alfred shouted, in an angry voice.

* * *

After putting my clothes back on, I trailed after Alfred until he was satisfied with our distance away from Antonio.

"What the _hell_ are you thinking?" Alfred began his rant. "I wake up, and you're gone, and of course I find you half naked with that crazy, Mexican creep. Look, I don't know if you've somehow convinced yourself that guy actually likes you, or if you just _want_ to be raped."

"Stop over reacting, I haven't done anything wrong and you know it," I said sternly. "Besides, don't be so goddamn racist, he's Spanish."

My roommate, and self-proclaimed best friend, was acting extremely out of character. Rather than his normal happy self, he was blazing with anger.

Alfred groaned in annoyance. "My god, I can't believe you're making me say this, but it might be the only thing that gets through your _thick_ skull!" he exclaimed, waving his arms angrily.

"Just spit it out Alfred," I demanded. "I can handle anything that comes out of _your_ mouth."

Alfred laughed mockingly. "Okay fine, I'm just going to say it," he shrugged. "I'm literally the _only_ person who has ever stuck by you, hell I'm the only person who fucking likes you. So why don't you stop treating your only friend like shit okay?"

"How, am I treating you like shit?" I asked, sending him glare.

"Are you for real?" Alfred sighed loudly. "You've been acting rudely to me this entire trip, and now you aren't even sticking around, like what is that about?"

"What, you're mad cause I made a friend and you didn't?" I sneered, crossing my arms over my chest.

"You're funny," Alfred laughed in response. "You actually think he likes you? Honestly, he's probably just being nice so he can turn you into his little bitch."

I could hardly believe what Alfred was suggesting. He thought Antonio was trying to use me, for sex. "You're not even making sense, you fat fuck," I yelled, trying to hit him where I knew it would hurt.

I was satisfied when Alfred flinched at the insult, but he quickly recovered, and threw one back that hit a little too close to home. "I'm only going to repeat this one more time, no one likes you, not your grandpa, not your brother, no. fucking. one. okay? So if you think being a little bitch, to the only person who actually _does_ like you, is a good idea, you better go think again."

"You have no right to talk about my family like that, that was really low," I growled, forcing myself to keep my composure, "even for you, Alfred," I added.

"Sorry, the truth hurts," he shrugged, before stomping off.

* * *

I ended up heading back to the plane alone. Alfred's harsh words kept replying in my mind, so I had a hard time keeping my cool. What he said wasn't true, I told myself over and over. Maybe I wasn't my grandfather's favourite, but he liked me, I hoped. Also, my brother Feliciano liked me, I was almost sure of it.

They were my only family, they had to like me.

But other than that Alfred was right, no one stuck by me after high school, and everyone I talked to seems to just hate me right off the bat. _Except Antonio._

Suddenly Ludwig's loud voice pulled me from my thoughts. "Is everyone here?" he asked, loudly. "We have somethings to discuss as a group."

The survivors who were around, slowly migrated towards Ludwig, until everyone was present. "I'm guessing we'll be here for a little while, so I suggest we try to gather food, and get a look at our surroundings."

"Good idea Ludwig," Eliza commented. "I think we should have a group to stay back at the crash site and gather anything we can use from plane."

"Alright that will work," he replied.

"So what will the groups be," I turned my head to see Francis as he talked.

"I was thinking Antonio, Arthur, Eliza and I could scout the area, see what's around. Then Alfred, Lovino, Francis, and Michelle could try to gather food from the forest. That leaves Ivan, Sadiq, Yao, and Kiku to gather useful items from the plane such as food, or anything they can find in suitcases."

The group seemed to like Ludwig's idea, everyone was mumbling about how well they thought it would work. I thought it was alright, but I really wasn't in the mood to spend that much time with Alfred.

I wasn't surprised when he spoke up, and made his feelings clear. "Yo Ludwig, there's no way I'm going to go anywhere with that little _whore_."

I ducked down and covered my face in embarrassment. I couldn't believe Alfred was calling me out in front of the entire group, it filled me with rage.

"Okay, well is there anyone who wouldn't mind trading with Alfred?" Ludwig asked awkwardly.

I didn't expect anyone to volunteer, mostly just cause it would put them on the spot, the same way I was.

But against all odds, someone did. "I'll trade with him, I'd rather gather food anyway," it was none other than Antonio.

"Alright, Antonio will switch with you, is that better?" Ludwig asked, with a slight eye roll.

Alfred shrugged. "Sure, if my favourite Mexican doesn't mind dealing with that crazy bitch—"

Ludwig was turning red with anger. Surprisingly more anger than I was showing. "Keep your problems to yourself, we are trying to deal with something important right now."

The rest of the group seemed to be nodding in agreement, putting Alfred to shame. I watched him hang his head, and avoid eye contact with anyone. Serves him right, I thought. He shouldn't have said those things, it was just plain embarrassing.

Suddenly I felt someone tap me on the shoulder. "Your friend had no right to say those things about you," the out-going woman, with light brown hair whispered.

Again, Alfred's words from earlier through my mind. No one likes you, not your grandpa, not your brother, no. fucking. one. What the impulsive blond had said before was far worse, I thought to myself.

"T-thanks," I stuttered out.

"No problem, Lovino right?" she asked sweetly.

"Yeah, and you're Eliza?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yup, I'm glad you remember," she said with a grin. "Well I better go join my group, not really looking forward to hanging with Alfred," she joked.

"I wouldn't either if I were you," I mumbled.

She gave a soft laugh, before bounding off towards Ludwig. Meanwhile, I waited in the same spot for my group to come to me. It wasn't long before Antonio, Francis and Michelle arrived.

"Thanks for this," I whispered quietly to Antonio. It wasn't something I'd normally do, but I was very grateful he took Alfred's place.

"Hey, I owed you one," he replied, gesturing towards my side.

* * *

The group waltzed into the forest, and began walking down the path the trees created.

At first there was some awkward silence, but Francis soon broke it. "Why don't we talk about why we were all going to Vancouver?" he suggested.

"Alright, well I was going to Vancouver to meet up with some friends," I heard Antonio begin. I felt blush rise to my cheeks, as I heard his reason for the third time. "But I'm sure Lovi already knows that," he joked, causing me to blush more.

Michelle laughed softly, before smiling at Antonio. "What are they like?" She asked.

I mentally rolled my eyes at her. What kind of question was that? Also, her smiling was starting to really get on my nerves, in a different way than Antonio's smiling though.

I could tell Antonio was struggling to answer such a weird question. "Well, uh, Bella's really sweet, and Daan is pretty cool I guess, he's kind of stern sometimes though," he said shrugging.

"Is she your _girlfriend_?" the dark haired woman asked, sounding somewhat deflated.

Antonio just laughed. "No, she's just one of my best friends," he answered. "So, where are you two going?"

Francis spoke up for both he and his sister. "Michelle and I were going to visit our parents," he replied casually. "I hope they aren't too worried, I've been trying to contact them but there's no cell service anywhere."

It was like both brother and sister were equally as dumb. Of corse there was no cell service, we were in the middle of nowhere. I kept that thought to myself though, I didn't need to make any enemies.

"What about you Lovino?" Francis asked, gazing in my direction.

"Alfred had some meetings there," I mumbled, trying not to think about him. "I decided to tag along."

We continued walking in silence, while looking at the bushes for any sort of food. I was walking beside Francis, while Antonio and Michelle were leading us. Something about that woman really irked me, so I was happy to not be walking beside her. I could hear part of their conversation, and felt pity for Antonio.

"You know, my last boyfriend was Spanish," she giggled.

Okay great, why are you telling him that? I thought, with a frown.

He laughed sweetly. "That's interesting, but you know, all Spaniards are different," he replied, while raising his hand to run it through his hair.

"Oh yeah, I know that," she laughed again. "So what do you think about all this?" She asked dramatically. Oh please, we're all thinking the same thing about the crash, it sucks.

"Well, I'm not too worried, Ludwig said we'd get saved soon," he said casually.

She giggled for the five hundredth time, and leaned into him. It was so goddamn annoying, it was like she thought she was being adorable or something. But what was more annoying was that Antonio seemed perfectly fine with it all.

"Wow, you're so calm about all this, it's really great that someone like you, is with me," she commented, while snaking her arm around his.

I balled my hands into fists, and felt my breathing sped up. That woman had successfully made me hate her.

"My sister's quite the charmer," I heard Francis chuckle beside me.

"I guess you could say that," I replied, sarcasm dripping off each word.

"She get's it from me, you know France is the country of love," he explained.

I would have thought he was from Quebec, the mostly french province in Canada, but France was equally as interesting. However, what I found more interesting was his sister's lack of an accent.

"Is your sister from France too?" I asked.

"I think it's pretty obvious she's adopted," he joked. "So to answer your question, no."

"oh that's cool," I replied, genuinely.

The blond man offered me a smile. He seemed kind, and I was happy to chat with him. I noticed the way his deep blue eyes sparkled as he talked, it was a nice feature I concluded.

"So do you think we'll be able to find any food soon," he asked, sounding slightly impatient. "I thought we would have found something by now."

"I hope so," I answered. "But it's not like we have stuff to hunt with, we have to find plants and shit."

Francis chuckled at that.

After a few more hours of Michelle's odd behaviour, and the group's failure to find food, the sun began setting. "Alright, well we've been out all day, and have only found like ten berries," Francis complained, while holding up his bag, with said berries inside.

"I guess we could call it a day," Antonio suggested.

We all agreed, and began heading back. Suddenly, we all came to the conclusion that none of us had been keeping track of how to get back.

"I think it's through here," Michelle had said, dragging Antonio with her towards a clearing.

But of corse the idiot had no idea where she was going, and there was no plane in the clearing. The sky was starting to really get dark, and I felt my heart speed up with worry. I didn't think we'd be able to get back without any light, which meant sleeping in the middle of the forest.

Francis had the same idea as me. "I think we should just stay here for the night, we can just have some sleeping shifts," he suggested.

We all agreed, and settled down beside a large oak tree. One of the few in the forest of evergreens. "Who wants to take the first shift?" Antonio asked the group.

I really didn't feel like I'd be able to sleep, so I volunteered. "Alright, I'll go after Lovi," Antonio said.

"I'll go last," Francis added.

I felt my eyebrow twitch in annoyance. Francis basically suggested that we would all have to take longer shifts, because Michelle wasn't going to take one.

"What about her?" I asked, gesturing towards Michelle, who was cuddling close to her brother.

"Lovino, you'd make a kind girl like my sister take a shift?" Francis asked, sounding as if I was out of line. As much as I enjoyed talking with him, the french man's logic irked me.

"What kind of man are you?" Michelle asked me innocently.

"I agree with Lovi, she should have to take a shift too," Antonio added. I was glad he agreed with me, otherwise it would have been three against one, I thought.

"Fine, if it bothers you so much, I'll take two shifts," Francis offered, sounding extremely irritated.

I rolled my eyes, and sighed. "Whatever, just give me something to keep time."

Antonio tossed me his watch, and I caught it one-handed. I quickly looked at the face, it was 9:07 pm. "It's nine," I informed.

We were all disappointed and tired, so I felt as though the group would be in a better mood after sleeping. I sincerely hoped that that would be the case, I thought, with a quiet sigh.

"Okay, you can stand watch until midnight, Antonio can watch until three, and I will watch until you all wake up," Francis suggested.

"Alright, sounds good to me," Michelle said, before shooting me a glare.

For some reason, she didn't send one Antonio's way, but I was too tired to let it bother me.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading chapter 3! You should drop me a comment, I'd love to hear what you think!**


	4. Regret and Something New

Day 2

Why in the world would I call Lovino a whore in front of everyone? He didn't deserve that; he didn't deserve any of the horrible things I said to him that day. I wish I could just explain everything, but it was all so complicated. There was no way to _explain_ the feelings I held for Lovino; I guess they were always just _there_. Whenever it was just us, I'd always find myself forgetting that there could ever be competition. But I guess Antonio changed the name of the game.

Ludwig's voice pulled me out of my thoughts. "Look, I don't know what that was about back there, but please don't make this difficult," he hissed in my ear.

I turned to face him. "I'm really sorry dude, I don't know what came over me," I replied, trying to laugh it off.

Unfortunately, Ludwig didn't seem interested in joining me.

Soon, the rest of the group arrived. I could see Eliza sending me a nasty glare, while Arthur just stood there with a bored expression. "Alright, let's go," Ludwig suggested, as he turned on his heel, and marched into the forest.

The rest of the group followed; Eliza caught up with him, while Arthur and I trailed behind. "You're a complete wanker for yelling at your friend in front of everyone, you know that right?" he said, as if that was a normal conversation starter.

"Yeah, I know," I replied. "It was a really bad move, I was just super mad," I continued, trying to justify my actions.

"Makes sense," he shrugged, while speeding up a bit, so we were closer to Ludwig and Eliza. "Well there's probably nothing better to do, so why don't you tell me about Lovino?"

I was surprised this guy was offering to listen to me rant. He must have been very bored, I thought with a small chuckle. "Dude it's okay, you don't have to listen to my problems," I said, declining his offer.

Arthur gave a small laugh. "Alright, if that's what you want, I was just curious as to why you're so mad at your friend," he replied with a shrug.

"Well I guess I could tell you that," I agreed, while rubbing the back of my head.

"Alright," he said, urging me to continue.

I tried to think of a way to word my feelings, without sounding jealous, because that was not it. There was no way I could be jealous of _Antonio_. Lovino was _my_ best friend, that was just some guy from the crash.

"It's actually kind of complicated, but I'll try to tell you," I started, feeling a bit uncomfortable. It just felt odd telling a stranger about my deep inner feelings, that were usually hidden from the world. "Well, it's always been me and Lovino, and I'm usually fine with how rude he is to me. But now he's hanging around this other guy, and it just makes me so mad, cause —"

I was cut off by Arthur laughing loudly, and uncontrollably. "Sorry, it's just you sound like a teenage girl who's mad cause her boyfriend is cheating," he choked out through giggles.

Now that I thought about it, he was right. At least I didn't try to explain the feelings I had for Lovino, that could have gotten awkward. "I just don't think he has the right to treat me so badly," I finished.

The British man beside me got his composure, before continuing the conversation. "Well, look where it's gotten you. Antonio's with Lovino as we speak, and you aren't," he explained. "If I were you, I'd apologize, and as soon as possible."

It felt oddly comforting talking to Arthur. It was as if telling someone about my problems, showed me another person's point of view.

"Anyways, want to talk about something else?" I suggested, feeling sick of replaying my interactions with Lovino over and over in my head.

"Sure," he replied casually, "what do you want to talk about?"

I thought for a few minutes, before breaking the short silence I had caused. "How about you tell me why you were heading to Vancouver?" I asked.

"Oh it's nothing too interesting," Arthur warned, "my parents live out there, and I was due for a visit, I guess."

I snickered. "Your parents live in _British_ Colombia?" I questioned, trying to help him understand the pun.

"Yes, why is that funny?" Arthur asked with a confused look.

"Never mind dude," I said awkwardly, after he ruined my joke. "So is it just you, or were there other people visiting too?"

Arthur just shrugged, before replying. "I have four brothers, they were suppose to come, but who really knows with those wankers," he sounded annoyed.

"Don't like your siblings?" I asked with a laugh.

"No not really, they did make my childhood quite, _memorable_ however," he said with a look of disgust. "What about you?"

"I have a brother, he lives here in Canada," I answered. "He's a mountie or something, I don't really know," I said with a laugh.

"Oh, maybe he'll come safe us," Arthur joked.

"I doubt it, he's too soft, honestly he's probably some sort of mountie secretary, or something super lame," I laughed sadly.

Now that I was thinking about Matt, I realized how long ago it was since I saw him. I wondered wether he had figured out about the plane crash, I hoped that he wasn't too worried if he had heard. I didn't know much about _mounties_ , but I had a feeling they had something to do with search and rescue.

"So, where are you from?" Arthur asked, changing the subject.

"Me and Lovino live in Syracuse," I replied. "What about you, you don't sound Canadian at all!" I continued the conversation.

Arthur chucked lightly. "Actually, I am," he answered. "I spent most of my childhood in England, but I moved to British Colombia with my family, in my early teens." he explained.

"Then what were you doing in Toronto?" I laughed.

He rubbed the back of his head nervously. "Actually, it's a pretty embarrassing story," he replied.

"Come on, just tell me!" I pleaded, while patting him on the back.

"Well, alright," he complied. "I-I moved across the country with my ex-girlfriend when I was nineteen, and let's just say things didn't work out between us."

I giggled at his reason. "So she dumped you?" I asked.

"It was a consensual decision, we both made together!" he corrected, defensively.

"Okay okay, consensual," I mocked. "So why didn't you move back?" I inquired.

"We lived together for seven months, everything was all in order." he explained, "I guess I didn't want to go through the trouble of moving again."

"So you moved there when you were nineteen?" he nodded. "How old are you now?" I questioned, wondering how long he had been living in Toronto.

"I'm twenty-eight," he admitted, with a frown.

I couldn't help but laugh. "Wow you're so old, I would have thought you were younger than me!" I chucked. "You probably look young cause you're so short!" I suggested.

Arthur just stared at me. It was funny the way his thick eyebrows furrowed, as he sent me what he probably preserved as a fearsome glare. "I am literally only two inches shorter than you, you have no right to talk!" he exclaimed.

"Yeah, well I'm still growing," I mentioned proudly.

Arthur raised an eyebrow, and stared at me as if I had problems. "How old are you? I highly doubt you are still growing," he said in a matter-of-fact voice.

"Twenty-two," I answered.

"I knew it!" he shouted. "You finished growing around two years ago."

"Are you serious?" I asked, "I don't want to be five nine for the rest of my life!"

"Not so tall and mighty now huh?" he laughed.

I chuckled at how worked up the Brit was getting, it was pretty amusing.

We walking in silence for a little while. I kept my eyes on Ludwig so I could make sure to go the right direction. So far we had been walking for about an hour, and he didn't seem to be stopping anytime soon. Occasionally though, he would tie pieces of cloth onto the trees to mark where we were going.

"Oh, I get it now," Arthur mumbled beside me.

It seemed random, but after a few moments I realized he was talking about the pun I had made. "Dude you should have _gotten it_ , like thirty minutes ago," I said with a laugh.

"Well it's not my bloody fault, that joke was rubbish!" he added, causing us both to laugh some more.

Soon we came into a clearing at the base of a large hill. "Let's go up there to get a good view of the area," the blond pilot suggested.

We trekked up the steep hill, and once we got to the top, I looked out over the forest. The leaves were turning to pretty yellows and reds, as they lay on their death bed. I couldn't help but find it funny how leaves only became this beautiful as they died. However I quickly shrugged the thought away, there was no need to have shower thoughts in the middle of an extreme disaster.

On another note, from where I was I could see the basic outline of the crashed plane, far off in the horizon. I couldn't believe how far Ludwig had made us walk, and now we'd have to go all the way back, I thought with an eye roll.

Speaking of Ludwig, he was drawing a sort of map on some paper he must have brought. Now that was planning ahead, I thought. "Nice map dude," I complimented.

"Thank you, it will hopefully help us out in the future," he explained.

I looked out into the view the hill provided. Suddenly I noticed something out of the corner of my eye; it looked like a radio tower.

"Ludwig look," I exclaimed, gesturing towards the tower.

It appeared to be only half a mile away, with it's body stretching far above the trees. "Maybe we can get signal from up there," I heard Eliza comment, while staring at it herself.

"We will mark it on the map, and decide what to do later," Ludwig decided, while continuing to draw.

"Why don't we just check it out now?" I asked, feeling restless, and ready to move again.

"We have to return to the plane and talk about options with everyone," the pilot explained, to my dismay.

* * *

It took twice as long to get back to the plane. But during the walk, I learned a bit about our pilot, and the out-going woman. Ludwig was actually suppose to fly to Halifax, but he got switched with a less experienced pilot, and was now stuck in this whole mess.

Eliza on the other hand, had been flying to Vancouver to visit her long-distance boyfriend. Apparently she used to live there, but was forced to move to Toronto because of a family crisis. She told the group stories about her boyfriend Roderich, most of them had to do with his musical obsession. She also mentioned that she was a resident at the Toronto General Hospital, which seemed pretty convenient since we were all stuck in this mess.

It was kind of nice hearing stories about their pasts, it helped me to remember that as horrible as this situation was, home was waiting for me.

Anyway, the group was expecting to be able to relax once we returned, but what was waiting for us was less than pleasant.

The minute we entered the clearing, Ivan and the others waltzed over towards us. They were all wielding with what looked like pieces of the plane, with some sort of cloth around the makeshift hilt. Except Ivan, he had a long metal pipe he must have found in the wreckage.

"What is this about," I heard Ludwig say in his gruff voice, as he reached for something behind him.

Suddenly the shorter man with raven black hair, grabbed Eliza. He held the pointed end of his shiv against her throat. "Sorry comrades, there's not enough food for us all," Ivan explained."I'm not planning starving under this capitalism bullshit."

"This is absurd, sure there isn't enough food for us all, but that's why there's a group—"

Ludwig was rudely interrupted by the silvery haired man, and the brunet's laughter. "Soon you're going to realize that is is every man for themselves, we can't all survive," Sadiq said with a shrug.

Just then, out of nowhere, Ludwig whipped out a gun and shot Kiku dead between the eyes. Arthur and I turned away in disgust, while Eliza fell to her knees, holding her throat.

Ivan and Sadiq looked at each other, before making a run for it, with the other asian man in tow. "Where are you cowards running off to?" I mocked, as they ran.

Ludwig kept his gun trailed on them, but it was plainly obvious he wasn't going to shoot. "Who knows, maybe we'll find your little bitch," Sadiq taunted loudly. "I've always had a thing for Italians."

"Don't you dare fucking touch him, I swear," I trailed off, as they disappeared into the forest.

Unfortunately though, they had packed four backpacks full of food from the plane, meaning there was probably barely anything left.

Arthur sighed loudly. "What are we suppose to eat now?" I exclaimed, in an extremely annoyed voice.

Ludwig replaced his gun in his belt, before replying. "Don't worry, the body can survive weeks without food, there's fresh water very close by so you won't die."

* * *

Later, at what would normally be considered dinner time, the group was huddled around a cackling fire. Luckily, we had access to items like lighters, because there was a lot of convenient stuff in the suitcases of the dead.

I was hoping we would have been able to eat something other than crackers though. Ivan and his group had taken practically all the food, except the crackers. So there I was, sitting around a camp fire, eating saltine crackers, and drinking boiled stream water out of a strangers water bottle.

"When will that stupid frog come back?" I heard Arthur ask, sounding somewhat annoyed. "I'm so hungry."

Ludwig just sighed. "I'm worried they got lost, they should have been back by now," he answered.

I was beginning to get worried that Lovino wasn't coming back at all. My phone read 7:00 pm, and it was very dark, which meant he would have trouble seeing. Every small rustle in the forest caused me to whip around, expecting to see him. I could actually feel my heart pounding loudly in my chest, as my body was charged with adrenaline. Just the fear of losing Lovino was enough to make me panic.

"Wow Alfred, you're looking really paranoid," Eliza commented, when she noticed me repeatedly looking into the woods.

"I'm just worried about Lovino," I admitted, while staring down at my hands.

Eliza's features softened, before she put a comforting hand on my shoulder. "Don't worry, I'm sure he's fine," she said, looking at me with big green eyes. "Besides he has Francis and Antonio there to protect him," she joked.

'Yeah, I guess," I sighed.

I was irked by what Eliza was suggesting. In my opinion, neither of them would be able to hold their own against three much superior foes, which means neither of them would be able to protect Lovino.

I cursed myself for changing groups. Had I stayed, I'd be able to protect him myself. Francis and Antonio were sheep compared to me; they were weak and docile. While I, was a hero. Or at least I wanted to be.

"I-I really need to apologize to him," I accidentally said out loud.

"I hope he forgives you," Eliza mused.

Our short exchange of words, sent the memories of my past actions through my mind. Regret was eating away at my conscience, and I knew I needed to get away from the group.

I stood up abruptly. "Sorry I need some time alone," I mumbled, before tearing off towards where Lovino and I had left our stuff.

I ended up just sitting down beside our suitcases. Slowly, I inched over to Lovino's dark green case, and just ran my hand over it. I fumbled around, looking for the zippers in the dark, but eventually I was able to carefully unzip it, and fold open the top.

He had packed a few outfits, and his bathroom supplies. I rooted through the latter until I found what I was looking for: his cologne. I knew how pathetic my actions must have seemed to anyone on the outside, but I just really needed to feel like he was present.

With a shaky hand, I sprayed Lovino's cologne into the air, and took a deep breath in. Suddenly I felt memories piece themselves together in my mind. The sharp citrus scent filled me with a sort of distress, or longing, something I could only describe as regret.

* * *

Clutching the small glass bottle to my chest, I let myself close my eyes, and fall into the memories.

"Hey Lovino," I whispered, turning my head towards his desk.

We sat beside each other in math class, and had begun developing a friendship throughout the the semester.

"Dammit, what do you want?" he hissed back.

"Want to come over and watch horror movies after school?" I asked, with a big grin.

Lovino looked at me like I was an idiot. Before accidentally shouting, "it's first period, why are you thinking about movies after school!"

However, he wasn't completely facing my direction, so I decided to duck my head, giving off the impression he was talking to himself.

"Vargas, talk to yourself one more time and it's detention!" our somewhat strict math teacher hollered, while sending Lovino a nasty glare.

"But Mr. Kholer," the Italian cried. "I was talking to Alfred!"

The teacher looked in my direction. "Jones?" he said questionably.

"No sir, he was talking to himself," I said, suppressing a laugh.

"Alright Vargas, no more out of you or a swear—"

Lovino always had anger issues, so naturally he wouldn't stand for the injustice.

"It was Alfred!" he yelled, probably at the top of his lungs.

"That's the last straw, this is AP math, not kindergarten," Kholer shouted. "Detention after school."

At the end of the day, I found myself waiting outside my math class for Lovino, while he was in detention. He was always getting into trouble, but this was the only time I had actually caused it. Luckily though, the hour seemed to fly by.

Suddenly the door slammed open, revealing a very angry Italian. "Hey, so about that movie—"

"Fuck you Alfred," he replied.

But of corse, two hours later found us in my basement, suffering through relentless jump scares. I remembered having my arms wrapped tightly around his body, while pressing my face between his neck and shoulder.

That was the first time I smelt his cologne.

* * *

"Alfred, what are you doing?" a British accent dragged me out of my happy memory.

"W-what?" I asked, slowing opening my eyes.

Arthur was kneeling in front of me, with a worried expression. "I came to check on you, but you looked like you were meditating with that cologne," he explained.

"Aw thanks dude, it was real nice of you to come check on me, " I replied with a smile. "And no don't worry, I just really like the smell," I half lied.

"Your welcome, and I guess that's, uh, interesting," he answered.

"Yeah, it's nice to see some people actually care about my well being," I thought out loud.

The brit got a bit flustered, and looked down. "W-well I just had to make sure you weren't dead," he answered.

Without thinking, I made eye contact with Arthur's piercing green eyes. Slowly, I brought my hand up to the his cheek, and closed the space between us. My lips were locked with his, in a daring kiss. Meanwhile, I tangled my other hand in Arthur's messy blond hair, but as my fingers slide through the soft locks, I imagined them dark brown.

Once we parted, I had gotten my sense back. "I-I'm sorry Arthur, I didn't mean to—"

He cut me off gently pressing his lips against mine, in another kiss. I felt his tongue slide across my lips and into my mouth. At first I resisted a bit, but then Antonio drifted into my mind, and I forgot why I had stopped in the first place.

The Brit slowly pulled away from me, before grabbing at the buttons of his dress shirt. I stared at him greedily as he undid each button, revealing more of his smooth, pale skin. Meanwhile I pulled my hoodie over my head, satisfied with the way Arthur eyed my toned chest and abs.

The next thing I knew he was straddling my lap, our lips connected in another session of kisses. I felt him slowly bring his hand from my cheek down to my belt, before undoing it. He wrapped his hand around my dick, and I felt myself grow hard.

Suddenly Arthur's mouth was around my member. His soft lips sucked forcefully, causing me great pleasure. But what made me feel even more fulfilled, was when I closed my eyes and imagined my Italian roommate.

My imagination, coupled with Arthur's actions, resulted in my dick being fully erected. Once the Brit realized this, he raised his head from my crotch, and gave me a small smirk. He slowly undid his belt, and seductively pulled down his fly. Next he turned himself around, and pulled down his khakis.

* * *

Intimacy with Arthur was _amazing_.

However it wasn't him that I had been picturing, because it wasn't him that made me feel utter happiness.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading chapter 4! Comment what you're thinking so far!**


	5. Who Is He?

Day 2

Surprisingly, it didn't take long for the rest of the group to fall asleep; I had thought the cold weather, and wind would have kept them up.

I had stationed myself against a tree, where my back was to the group. I figured that I'd be able to see potential threats, if I was facing the direction they'd be most likely coming from.

After a few minutes, I realized how much I despised taking watch. It wasn't that I was too tired, it was just the fact that there were no longer any distractions to keep my mind away from _certain_ thoughts. Past events swirled around in my mind, which forced me to try to block them out.

I ended up just fiddling around with Antonio's watch; it was the only thing I had to keep my mind off of Alfred. The silver lining around the face of the watch was cold against my hand, while the worn, leather band felt smooth and sleek.

However, no matter how much I tried to focus on the watch, Alfred's words were still there in the back of my head. _No one likes you, not your grandpa, not your brother, no. fucking. one. okay?_

"Okay, I get it," I whispered, as if I was answering Alfred.

Every time his words played over in my mind, I felt an inexplainable pain in my chest. It traveled down to my stomach, and made me feel sick. There were also tears prickling at my eyes, so I tried to just blink them away.

In the end, I brought my knees up to my chest, and buried my face in my arms. I knew I wouldn't be able to successfully keep watch, but at that moment it didn't matter. Soon my cheeks were streaked with wetness, and I let out a sob I hadn't known I was keeping in.

I was so angry with Alfred. He had no right to make me feel so, vulnerable. He wasn't allowed to take my weaknesses, and shove them in my face.

Suddenly, my musing was interrupted by a hand on my shoulder. "Hey, what's wrong?" I heard Antonio's kind voice.

He was the last person I wanted to see. Mostly just because he had already seen me at my weakest, so there was no need to relive that embarrassment.

"Nothing's wrong, go away," I hissed, trying to sound intimidating.

Antonio shifted around, until he was sitting beside me. "Does your side hurt again?" he asked, worriedly.

"No, I said I'm fine," I replied, slightly lifting my head from my arms. "Go the hell away!"

To my dismay, he just sat there, making no move to leave. Eventually he just turned to face me. "I'll leave once you tell me what's wrong," he tried to compromise. "Otherwise, I'm going to just stay here to make sure you're okay."

I sighed loudly. Antonio was just as stubborn as Alfred. "Fine, whatever," I said dryly, "if you've got no life, and just _need_ to hear about mine, that's your problem," I added rudely.

Antonio looked a bit offended, but he seemed to quickly shrug it off. "Alright, tell me why you're crying," he asked, making me sound extremely pathetic.

I turned to face him, with angry tear tracks evident on my face. "I'm not fucking crying, I'm just pissed at Alfred!" I exclaimed, failing to convince him.

Antonio smiled. "Oh Lovi, you're just so cute," he chuckled. "Even when you're _not_ crying."

"Anyways," I said, changing the subject. "Alfred said some really mean shit, and I guess it just got to me."

Antonio placed his hand on my shoulder again, "hey, I'm sure anything he said is wrong, you seem like a very nice guy to me," he encouraged.

I wanted to tell Antonio to take his hand off of me, and stay the hell away, but I just didn't have the energy. "T-thanks, but you don't know me, and you're so wrong," I mumbled the last part.

I felt tears gathering in my eyes again, so I avoided eye contact with Antonio by staring at the ground.

"Hey, stop being sad," he commanded, "you're starting to make me sad too."

I couldn't help but smile at his request. "Well maybe you should just leave," I retorted.

Suddenly, I felt Antonio's fingers on my chin, forcing me to look him in the eyes. I expected some kind words, and smiles, but what I got instead surprised me. Antonio's green eyes stared longingly into my own, and for some reason my heart fluttered at the sight. He slowly leaned into me, and pressed his lips against mine. I felt his smooth tongue slide across my bottom lip, before he went in for a deeper kiss.

However, by this time I had gotten over my shock. Quickly and without thinking, I pushed him off of me and slapped him with all my might. "I thought you actually wanted to be my friend!" I accused, in a hushed whisper. "But of corse you just wanted to use me like everyone else. Goddammit, I can't believe I actually thought you liked me. But I guess Alfred made it pretty clear, no one's nice to Lovino Vargas unless they want something, and you just proved him right!"

"I do like you Lovi—"

I cut him off. "No, don't fucking call me that, and don't fucking lie to my face!" I exclaimed.

I stomped off, with new tears silently sliding down my cheeks. It was only 11:30 pm, but I figured stupid Antonio wouldn't mine covering it for me, especially after what he had done.

I pillowed my arms under my head, and tried to forget about how horrible the day had been. It was hard, but eventually I fell asleep with tear stains marring my face.

* * *

Day 3

I awoke the next morning, to Francis gently shaking my shoulder. "You have to get up now," he said in a hushed voice.

I wiped the sleep out of my eyes before replying. "Okay, I'm awake."

Francis offered me a tired smile, before handing me a water bottle. "Ludwig said to bring a few of these, here take this."

I hadn't realized how thirsty I was, until the water touched my lips. I downed half the bottle, before wiping my mouth on my sleeve. "Thanks," I mumbled.

Suddenly out of the corner of my eye, I saw Antonio carefully approaching. He had a look of worry and fear plastered on his face when our eyes met, but he quickly looked away.

"We ready to go?" he asked Francis.

"Yeah," the French man replied, before standing to full height.

He offered me his hand, and when I took it, he helped me to my feet. To begin our potentially long journey, Francis decided we should try to retrace out steps. So naturally, we headed in the direction we came.

Antonio and Michelle were leading, but this time her annoying behaviour didn't seem to bother me as much. But of course that didn't last. He turned to face her revealing the bruising that had formed on his cheek, which had prompted her to ask questions.

"Wow, what happened to your face?" Michelle asked with dramatic worry.

Antonio laughed it off. "I walked into a tree last night, it was so dark," he lied.

Just then she reached up, and touched his cheek lightly. "Oh my god, are you okay?"

I was suddenly filled with inexplicable rage. Of course Antonio was _okay_ , I hadn't even hit him that hard. Besides, he deserved it. Also, I found the contact very unnecessary, it wasn't as if her touch would help him in anyway, I thought with a frown.

"So Lovino," Francis said, attempting to make conversation. "It sucks that we're stuck out here, I wonder how we got lost in the first place?" he chuckled, trying to make light of the situation.

Unfortunately I let my anger get the better of me. "I'll tell you _how_ we got lost," I exclaimed, "that's just what happens when you let a fucking bimbo, and retarded fuck boy lead the group!"

Everyone seemed to just stop walking, while Antonio immediately turned around, staring at me with a hurt expression evident on his face. Francis just looked appalled, while Michelle sounded like she was suppressing a sob. Alright, maybe angering everyone I was forced to be with at the moment, was an extremely horrible move on my part, I get that.

But of corse, there was Antonio trying to make all better. "It's okay to be angry Lovino, don't worry Michelle and I know you don't really think those mean things," he said, offering me an out.

I rolled my eyes, before balling my hands into fists. "Why are you so goddamned fake?" I shouted. "Just stop, I know what you really are, you fucking rapist," I accidentally let out, before dropping my head to avoid his gaze.

If he didn't hate me already, he sure did now, I thought. That probably went for everyone. Cautiously, I raised my gaze until Antonio came into view. His eyes looked a bit watery, but I told myself it was just the lighting.

I was expecting some sort of punishment: a punch to the face, a stern talking to, anything. But instead, all I got was silence.

* * *

After an hour of walking with no success, Francis suggested taking a break. The three of them sat together, while I sat about ten feet away. I was staring off into the distance feeling ashamed, and isolated, but most of all regretful. There was a cliff like drop not too far away from me, so I just stared down into the small chasm, getting lost in thought.

I mean, sure Antonio tried to kiss me, but I really had no right to call him a _rapist_. It was out of line, and plain mean. Besides, he didn't try to force himself on me, and he stopped when I said no. I cursed myself for being so sensitive; he deserved the benefit of the doubt. He didn't know what Alfred had said; he had no idea how much that kiss would impact me.

The idea of being used scared me, and I guess I was worried that that was Antonio's intention.

Suddenly, a rustle in the forest cause all four of us to immediately stand up, and face the potential threat. However to our relief, it was just Ivan and a few others.

"Oh hello, we've been looking for you guys," he exclaimed, with an eery smile.

"So this is a search party?" Francis asked.

"Pretty much," Ivan shrugged.

At first I was content to see someone new, but something didn't feel right. I knew Alfred was mad, but if there was a search party, I would have thought he'd tag along.

Just then, something behind Yao glinted in the sun. I shouted a warning, but I was milliseconds late. "Francis, watch out!" I screamed, just as the Asian man stabbed the shiv through his shoulder.

I heard Michelle scream, while her brother fell to one knee, grimacing in pain. The next scene seemed to go by in slow motion. Francis whipped around with a thick branch gripped in his hand, and slammed it full force into Yao's head. The smaller of the two fell to the ground, unconscious.

Francis then regrouped with Antonio and his sister, while pressing a hand against his bleeding shoulder. Slowly, I moved to group by them also. I could feel adrenaline coursing through my veins, as my fight of flight instinct was triggered.

"Oh I forgot to mention, when we find you we take you out," Ivan joked.

The rest of the opposing group burst into hearty laughter, as if Ivan was some sort of sick comedian.

"But seriously though, we're only doing this cause there's not enough to go around," the Russian explained in a sincere tone. "Let's be honest, the search and rescue people are looking in the wrong spot, we'll be here for weeks."

"Ludwig said we'd be found in around six days, what are you talking about?" Antonio asked, sending Ivan a cold glare.

"Well he doesn't know what he's saying," the silvery haired man shrugged.

"What are you even trying to say?" Francis gritted out through clenched teeth. "No one would hurt anyone, even if we were here for weeks."

I rolled my eyes at the irony. Perhaps I was correct about Francis and his sister being extremely unintelligent. Of course there would be violence; in an every-man-for-themselves situation such as this, there would be anarchy.

"It doesn't matter what you think, it's not like we came here to discuss this," the brunet countered. "Should we get this over with?" he asked, turning to Ivan.

The latter just shrugged, disappointment evident on his face. "I was really hoping to take them all out quickly, but I guess that's not going to happen," he explained.

"You're lucky the frenchie took out this one," Sadiq chucked, nudging Yao with his boot, "now it's two against two."

"What's that suppose to mean, bastard," I growled, getting into a fighting stance.

I had no idea why they were attacking us, it wasn't like we told them they couldn't take the supplies, we had no knowledge that they had even done that. Something in the back of my mind immediately blamed Alfred for this; he must have pissed them off, or screwed up in some way.

The dark haired man just shrugged, "sorry, I didn't count the two pathetic bitches."

I felt a twinge of annoyance, since I knew I was being indirectly insulted. However, I came up with a clever retort. "Looks like he forgot to count you," I sneered in Antonio's ear.

If I could just put him down, maybe he would understand that I don't care about anyone or anything. While that wasn't exactly a fact, I'd rather my feelings stay hidden under layers of sarcasm and nonchalant, rather than be exposed for the world to judge.

Just then, Antonio grabbed me by my shoulders, forcing me to face him. "Lovino, stay behind me, I promise, I-I'll make sure you get out of this alive," he whispered, completely ignoring my comment.

Swiftly, we both backed up to provide more space for the inevitable fight. The bastard had positioned himself so he was in front of me. I felt somewhat bad that he was protecting me after everything that had happened, but it wasn't like I asked for his protection. He could do whatever he wanted, if there were consequences it wouldn't be my fault.

Suddenly, Sadiq walked towards us, flipping his makeshift dagger around in his hand. "Well if it isn't Alfred's bitch, and everyone's favourite Mexican," he provoked. "You know, I've always wanted an Italian whore," the dark haired man continued, while eying me greedily.

Suddenly, he lunged forward, weapon drawn. I watched as he sliced through air, aiming for Antonio. As much as I told myself I disliked the Spaniard, I still felt jolts of panic each time the knife came close to nicking his tan skin. I backed out of the way, to attempt to stay out of harm, while praying that Antonio could somehow beat this hulking, giant of a man.

After many more failed swings, I could tell Sadiq was beginning to get frustrated. His relentless attacks grew more aggressive and uncontrolled. Until finally, he gave up on swinging, and jabbed the knife towards Antonio, attempting to gut him.

However to my relief, his new strategy backfired. I watched as Antonio swiftly gripped Sadiq's knife wrist, and pulled it to the side, before slamming his foot into the man's ribcage. I cringed, and looked away when I heard bone crack on impact.

I didn't know how much force Antonio had used, but the fight seemed to be done.

"Wow, I didn't know you had that in you," I mumbled. I wanted to thank him, but that was all I could muster.

I slowly walked over, until I was standing beside the Spaniard. "Yeah, I didn't either," he replied, while running shaky hand through his hair. I noticed Antonio did that a lot, maybe it was a nervous habit or something I thought.

However I was suddenly ripped from my thoughts, with a harsh shove to the side. The dirty ground caught me on my hands and knees, so I cursed loudly. "The fuck Antonio, and I was actually going to forgive—" my words caught in my throat when I turned around.

Somehow, Ivan's lackey was on his feet. He was holding his makeshift knife, except most of it was buried deep in Antonio's left side. My eyes widened in horror, as I saw the blood that was oozing out around the piece of metal.

Antonio seemed to be trying to tough it out, but I could still hear him grit his teeth, and hiss in pain.

"Now that's something I wasn't expecting," Sadiq laughed, once the initial shock passed. "You know I wasn't aiming for you, so this _really_ isn't my fault," the Turkish man continued, while twisting the knife deeper. Antonio just grabbed weakly at Sadiq's wrist, while biting down on his lip.

To be honest, it was torture watching him in pain, especially since I knew that it should have been me. "You fucking psycho, let him go!" I hollered, while throwing a large stone in his direction.

I missed of corse, but at least it created a bit of a distraction. "Oh look, he's trying to defend you," Sadiq commented, unfazed by the rock.

Suddenly, I watched in awe as Antonio shot his fist into the Turk's exposed throat. The larger man brought a hand up to his neck, leaving himself open. That was when Antonio finished him. He snatched the shrapnel-like shiv out of Sadiq's grasp, and ripped it out of his side.

I cringed in disgust as blood danced off the knife, but was amazed when the Spaniard skillfully jabbed the shiv through his enemy's neck. Sadiq made some disgusting gurgling sounds, before falling back, dead. Thick red liquid gushed from the fatal wound, like a waterfall of death.

Honestly, it was almost like watching a gory movie, except I knew it was real.

* * *

After defeating Sadiq, Antonio just fell to his hands and knees, and began hacking up vomit. I looked away because I couldn't handle seeing him like that. Instead, I looked towards Francis, who seemed to be having trouble with Ivan. I watched as they fought by the chasm I had noticed earlier. Just then, I felt my breath catch in my throat as Francis fell backwards. He wrapped his arms around Ivan, and dragged him downward too.

The world suddenly began playing in slow motion, as they both tumbled over the edge. However, Michelle's shrill scream seemed to put time back into place, as the two of us ran towards the side of the chasm. The drop wasn't too bad, meaning it would be very possible to survive it. I felt like a horrible person, but I wished it was higher. If I had to guess they must have fallen about six metres.

"Francis!" Michelle screamed, "Francis, I'm sorry I wasn't doing a-anything, p-please don't leave me, Francis!" She continuously called his name, expecting a reply. "Francis, a-are you okay?"

As I stared into the chasm, something caught my eye; it was Ivan. He survived, just as I had worried. From the speed he was moving, I assumed he wasn't too badly injured.

That realization caused my heart to speed up, as my kidneys injected me with new adrenaline. My eyes darted back and forth, searching for Ivan, but I couldn't spot him. I felt paranoia grip my chest, as fear ate away at my mind.

"We have to get out of here dammit!" I exclaimed, looking from Michelle to Antonio.

Michelle just shook her head, as tears streamed down her cheeks. She continued crying, mumbling Francis's name every so often.

Soon the situation became awkward, so I jogged towards Antonio, before kneeling beside him. "Come on, let's get a move on it," I said anxiously, shaking his shoulder lightly.

Antonio was lying on his back, a hand pressed against his bloody side. When he heard my voice, he looked up at me with sad eyes. "I do like you Lovi," he repeated his words from the night before. "Do you believe me now?"

My eyes widened, as I was taken over by emotions I wasn't accustom to. Antonio had done that for me? He had risked his life, and now was in immense pain, for me? This realization made me feel cared for, wanted, appreciated, and _liked_. He proved Alfred wrong, and I just felt so good.

There were tears welling up in my eyes, and I didn't even know why. You know, I was never the type to get sappy during emotional movies, or cry because of all the problems in the world, but this was something entirely different.

Soon I realized it was _my_ turn, to do something unexpected and surprising. I gently brushed my hand through Antonio's light brown hair, before sliding it down to his bruised cheek. The Spaniard's bright green eyes widened with shock, as he looked up at me. A small, but sincere smile grazed my lips.

Then I leaned down, and I kissed him. It wasn't perfect: the location, the position, hell, he tasted like nasty stomach acid, but it was real. I felt Antonio stoke my cheek lightly, with blood coated fingers, but I didn't even care. As we slowly parted, I caught myself wishing it had lasted longer.

It took a little while, but finally my brain got over what had just happened, and began forming words again. "Alright, y-you dumb bastard," I stuttered, feeling my face heat up. "We really need to leave."

Antonio tried to push himself up into a sitting position, but fell back with a grimace. "Sorry Lovi, I don't think I can, i-it just hurts so much," he choked out, in between pained gasps.

"This is nothing, you're fine," I shouted, desperation clinging to each word.

I could see blood seeping through the thin material of his sweater, and past his hand. "Fuck," I swore under my breath. "No you have to get up, we already lost Francis, you can't leave too, Antonio you goddamned idiot!" I knew I was yelling, but it didn't matter. I had to let my rage and worry out, somehow.

Clumsily, I undid the buttons of my navy shirt, before ripping it off. The wind was frigid, and bit at my newly exposed skin, but I ignored it.

"W-what are you doing?" Antonio asked, staring at me with hazy eyes.

"Saving your fucking life," I exclaimed, before passing him the shirt. "Keep pressure on it, a-and don't die." I mumbled the last part.

Just then, Michelle interrupted me. "Lovino, I think we should leave really soon, Ivan's almost here."

I whipped around, and easily spotted him. Luckily for us the only way up the chasm was a steep path, that was easily visible from where we were. He was almost two thirds of the way up, so she was right, we really needed to leave.

"Okay, we are leaving, right now!" I yelled, panicking.

I ended up just grabbing the Spaniard by his upper arm, before pulling him onto my back. He wrapped an arm weakly around my neck, while the other kept my shirt pressed against his stab wound.

Antonio's shallow breath against my neck, sent shivers through my body; there was no way I'd let him die, not after that.

* * *

 **Thanks for getting this far! I'm always happy to hear what you think, so feel free to leave a review.**


	6. Dreamin' Of Us

Day 3

"I always knew you were the one," the brunet moaned, as I pressed kisses against the lightly tanned skin of his chest.

I looked up at his angelic face. Beautiful hazel eyes stared back at me, with a small smirk grazing his smooth thin lips. "Alfred, I love you," he whispered, before pulling me down into a deep kiss.

His warm tongue slipped into my mouth, and he brought his arms up, around my neck. Once we parted I ran my hand gently through his soft brown locks. "Lovino," I said quietly.

He just smiled when he heard his name.

"I love you."

Suddenly I heard something. It sounded like an outside voice, someone who wasn't part of my moment. Someone—Arthur, from the crash. Wait, then that meant—my eyes fluttered open, as the horrid sun hit my retinas. I wiped at my eyes to return my vision, before looking around. I spotted Arthur close by; he was staring at me as if I had issues.

"W-what do you want?" I said, unpleased with the way my voice sounded in the morning.

"I said, I think it's a bit too soon to tell me you love me," the brit replied, in mock seriousness.

I looked at him, perplexed. "I-I didn't—oh shit sorry," I exclaimed, realizing what must of happened. "I guess I talk in my sleep sometimes," I sighed in embarrassment.

Arthur just shrugged. He then dropped down, and sat beside me. "What was your dream about?" he asked, figuring it must have had something to do with my _confession_ of love.

"It doesn't matter," I shrugged, not ready to get into such a heavy subject.

"Alright," he said, a devious smirk grazing his lips. "Well how about we stop talking, and do something else?"

The Brit snaked closer, before leaning in. His forehead was against mine, and he was breathing heavily. I closed my eyes, attempting to cloud him with the image of Lovino, however I was too alert, too aware for the illusion to work.

Arthur slowly linked our lips, gently and carefully. He brought his hand up to my face, and began using tongue. All the while I felt a pang of regret. As sexually pleasing as Arthur was, he was not Lovino; he was not the man I had come to adore.

I pulled away, slowly at first, then all at once.

"What's your bloody problem?" he asked, "You weren't like this last night."

"I don't know, I wasn't really thinking straight last night," I replied, attempting to explain my situation.

Arthur's expression was that of anger and embarrassment. He sent me an accusing glare, while crossing his arms over his chest.

"Okay, I see how it is," he said.

"Do you somehow expect me to have feelings for someone I just met?" I asked. "I just wanted to have some fun, but nothing more."

The Birt paused to think, before his features softened. "I understand," he shrugged. "I'm not looking for a relationship either, just thought we'd do it more than once."

We both laughed at that. Luckily his comment had brought the mood back to normal.

I hoped Arthur knew that he wasn't the problem. In all honesty I found the man devilishly attractive, and amusing to talk with. It was what I felt for Lovino that was holding me back. It didn't feel right to do things with the Brit, when the only person I wanted to be with was my Italian roommate.

"Sorry dude, you're hot, but I'm," I trailed off, "actually never mind."

"Come on Alfred, you outright rejected my advances, the least you could do it tell me what you were going to say," Arthur commented, with a smirk.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm into Lovino," I finished my previous sentence.

"Well I'd have to be an idiot to have not picked up on that," the shorter blond chuckled. "But what I don't get it why you would still—"

I cut him off, knowing exactly what he was going to say. "It's simple, you're attractive, and I was horny."

I knew it was partially a lie, but the truth wasn't something I was proud of. Jealousy affects everyone, yet I still didn't want to admit I was in it's clutches. However jealousy wasn't the only green eyed monster around, I thought, as Antonio entered my mind.

* * *

Arthur seemed alright with my confession, and in the end we decided to just be friends. He sat across from me on the blanket, and we continued to converse as if nothing awkward had happened. However, I couldn't stop thinking about how utterly starved I was.

"I can't believe Ivan would steal all our food, he's such an ass!" I whined, while standing to full height. "It's bad enough that all we have is airplane food, but now we don't even have that!"

Arthur stood up too, before shrugging. "I agree, Ivan is a wanker," he replied. "Why don't we go see Ludwig?" Arthur suggested afterwards, "maybe he found some more food."

The blond lead the way towards where the fire from last night had been burning. This morning the logs were charred, and burnt dark as charcoal.

"Good morning," Ludwig greeted, in a less than excited voice. "Is there something you two want?"

"Yeah, we were wondering if there's any more food, I'm so hungry!" I answered, over dramatically.

The pilot stood up from his sitting position by the once-blazing pile of wood. "All we have are some more of those saltine crackers from last night, and perhaps some soda in the plane's fridge," he explained.

"Wait, why didn't you say anything about the soda last night?" I asked, feeling myself be taken over by unnecessary joy. Usually I didn't get this excited over soda, but that being said, usually I didn't wind up in plane crashes.

"I don't know, I guess I wasn't thinking about something like that, when there's perfectly good water in the stream," he sighed, looking somewhat annoyed. "If you find anything worth while, put it in here." Ludwig handed Arthur a large knapsack.

"Oh my god, let's go Arthur!" I exclaimed, while pulling the man by the arm as I began running towards the head of the plane.

"Let go of me you idiot!" I heard the blond shout, with a small laugh.

I complied once we got to the plane. The area where the aircraft was torn apart seemed to have an endless amount of wiry, metal pieces sticking out. It was laying flat on the ground, so naturally I had to carefully pull myself up into the plane. I was extremely mindful of the sharp, torn metal. Arthur also got up into the plane, before we set off in search of soda.

Immediately, on entering the confined area of the plane, a horrendous scent wafted into my face. I didn't even have to think about it, I knew it was the rotting corpses of the dead. As I glanced over at Arthur though, he didn't seem to be too phased by it.

"Hey, don't you smell that stench?" I asked, nudging his arm with my elbow.

"Just breath with your mouth, wanker," he sighed, as if it was obvious. "It's not like they can hurt us, they are dead." Arthur kicked a body to the side for emphasis.

"Come on dude, let's hurry up!" I suggested. "It's so gross in here."

I ran to the front of the plane, where I had first met Ludwig. Meanwhile, Arthur followed me at a slower pace. There was a room off to the side of the one I had kicked in, which I assumed was where they kept the food. Luckily, I was correct. Inside the room to my right was a mini fridge. Greedily, I pried it open and was happy to find an assortment of soda. From the looks of things it had already been picked over, but there was still plenty for the group.

The brit walked into the small room, a few minutes later. He began rooting through another fridge that was off to the other side of the room. "What are you doing?" I asked, absentmindedly.

"Obviously Ivan couldn't have taken all the food, there must be something left," he mused.

Arthur then held out an arm-full of those packaged sandwiches in triumph. "See, I told you," he said with a small grin.

"Wow that's awesome," I replied. "You'd think there would be more though."

"Maybe this airline is just super cheap," Arthur joked dryly.

I nodded in agreement, while dumping half a dozen or so drinks into the bag. Arthur then added the sandwiches, before zipping the bag shut.

"Here, I'll carry it, it's probably super heavy," I offered.

Arthur just handed me the bag, before heading out the oval shaped, white door. I tailed him, as we sped through the narrow aisle.

Once we got back to Ludwig, he was pleased with the food we found. Or at least as pleased as Ludwig seemed to get. I hadn't known him too long, but it was obvious that our co-pilot was a stoic, and serious man.

Also, Eliza had woken up, and was much more excited. "Wow this is great Al," she said, with a big smile on her face.

Out of all the people I have met, no one used that nickname; it felt a bit odd. However, I found it very endearing that this woman, who I had just met was already giving me one. I heard somewhere that people who get into disasters together bond and become friends quickly; I guess I would have to agree.

* * *

Later that day, anxious feelings were gripping my chest. I thought the serene moments with Arthur and the others would have helped, but no matter what I did, Lovino was still there in the back of my mind. At the moment, the brit and I were just lazing around by our luggage. It was mid afternoon, and the temperatures were beginning to drop into the uncomfortable zone.

"I think I'm going to go look for Lovino," I mused out loud. "He should be back by now, and I'm actually starting to get really worried." I explained.

Arthur looked up from the book he was reading to give me a curt nod. "I'll accompany you then," he suggested.

"Okay, let's go," I agreed. "But just telling you now, I'm not turning back until we find him, or his dead body," I said, mumbling the last part.

"I understand," he replied. "Don't worry too much, I'm sure they are fine."

I could tell Arthur was trying to be encouraging, but there was doubt in his voice, that even I could pick up on.

The sun was still bright in the sky, when we trekked into the menacing forest. When I first laid eyes on it, it seemed tranquil and beautiful, but now the forest was the villain that was holding my best friend hostage.

I felt the dead leaves, and fallen pine needles crunch under my shoes. It was as if I was conscious of every action, every movement, every breath. I knew it was the anxiety. The pounding of my heart coupled with the constricting feeling in my chest, prevented me from being optimistic. Images of Lovino's cold dead body flashed through my mind like lightning.

"Hey Alfred, are you alright?" Arthur's voice pulled me out of my dark thoughts. "You sound like you're hyperventilating."

I laughed uncomfortably. "Oh wow, I didn't notice," I answered.

"I was exaggerating," the brit explained. "Anyways, if we really want to find them, we best hurry up."

I nodded in agreement, before picking up the pace to match Arthur's new speed. The shorter blond had fallen into a quick jog. It almost felt as if we were just two friends, running along a nature path. For a while I just told myself that. It was a bit of a comfort, but in the end it just felt ridiculous.

Arthur and I didn't have much success. We had been jogging through the forest, calling Lovino's name for a good hour. Every unanswered shout, filled me with more stress and anxiety.

Suddenly I heard something. I motioned for Arthur to follow as I approached, what I recognized as Lovino's deep voice. The sound was coming from behind a large boulder, which was surrounded by smaller rocks as well.

"Don't worry bastard, we're all going to be fine." It sounded like Lovino was trying to comfort the group he was with, which was highly out of character of him.

I decided to make my presence known. As much as I feared his reaction, I just wanted to see him again; it had only been a day, but I had been so worried it felt like an eternity. "Lovino?" I yelled his name. "Is that you?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

Lovino stood to full height, and peered over the rock toward Arthur and I. His collarbone and shoulders were visible, so it was evident he was shirtless.

"Alfred?" he looked perplexed.

He walked out from where he had been kneeling, before slowly approaching me. Immediately, I noticed blood coating his hands. The red stains crept up his wrists, ending around the middle of his forearm.

"Oh my god, are you okay?" I exclaimed, scanning his body for any injuries.

"Yes," he answered dryly.

I felt instant relief. "What's up with the blood?" I asked.

"Antonio got stabbed, I was trying to stop the bleeding," my roommate replied.

"Is he dead?" I asked, accidentally sounding too enthusiastic.

Lovino crossed his arms over his bare chest. "No, of course not!" he replied, sending me a glare.

"I'm actually very happy about that, you know I would never want him to be alive—I mean _dead_ ," I reassured, unsuccessfully. "You know what I meant—"

Arthur cut me off. "Anyways, we should probably head back to camp, it's great that you are all alive," he said, attempting to make the moment less awkward.

Lovino looked down sadly. "Actually, Francis didn't make it," he informed with a frown.

"What, how did he die?" I asked bluntly.

The Italian kept staring at his hands, regret evident on his face. "Him and Ivan fell off a cliff," he answered. "He died, but Ivan's still alive."

Arthur sighed loudly. "I can't believe he's actually dead, that bloody frog," he commented.

"We should probably get back, it's going to get dark soon," I suggested.

"Okay, I'll go tell Michelle and Antonio," Lovino said, before turning back towards the cluster of rocks.

However before he could leave, I swiftly grabbed his shoulder. "Wait, can we talk later?" I whispered in his ear.

The Italian just shrugged out of my grasp. "I guess so," he answered, before walking off.

A few moments later, the three of them emerged from where they had been stopped. I immediately felt a twinge of annoyance, as I noticed Antonio's arm snaked across Lovino's shoulders. My gaze also drifted down to the blood stained, navy blue, piece of clothing tied around his stomach. It was tied over his greyish hoodie, but there was still blood peaking out from underneath.

As much as I wanted to feel bad for Antonio, I couldn't. In all honesty, the only reason I would ever wish that he didn't get stabbed would be so he wouldn't have his arm around Lovino.

"Hey Lovino, I can help him walk, you look pretty tired," I suggested, anxiously trying to separate them. "I mean, if that's okay with you?" I asked Antonio.

"I don't want to burden you Lovi, you can just go with Michelle," I heard him say quietly.

Lovino reluctantly agreed, before walking off with Arthur and Michelle.

I ended up just pulling the brunet's arm across my shoulders, while wrapping my other arm around his back, before following the rest of the group at a slower pace.

Antonio was about my height, but somewhat thinner. I was forced to support around half his weight, so to be completely honest, it wasn't that bad. Especially since the situation gave me an opportunity to _level the playing fields_.

Once the group was far enough away, that they wouldn't be able to hear potential yelling, I decided to make my move. I was morally against murder or anything equally as horrible, but threats were alright.

In one swift motion, I moved my hand from Antonio's back around to his side, and dug my fingers into his stab wound. I felt the flesh that had been slowly knitting itself together, tear under the impact, as warm blood embraced my hand. Immediately, he let out a satisfying cry of pain, before gripping my wrist in a constricting grip.

"Sorry, my hand slipped," I said, trying to sound intimidating. "But if you don't back off Lovino, it might slip more." As I finished my sentence, I stretched out my fingers. His flesh gave under the impact, tearing the already tender skin near his wound.

I felt a smile graze my lips, as he cried out in pain once more, before bitting down on his lip. What was entertaining though, was watching him struggle to hide the excruciating pain he was no doubt in. There seemed to be tears building up in his eyes, but he fought to hold them back to keep one last shred of dignity.

"Y-you're crazy," Antonio hissed, through clenched teeth.

"No you are, for thinking Lovino actually gives a fuck about you," I retorted, feeling a sense of euphoria as each word slid off my tongue. "Give it up dude, you're just not good for him."

"You're jealous," he accused, a hash glare crossing his features.

"Of _you_?" I said, in mock disbelief. "As if, I'm just protecting Lovino from whatever _dirty things_ you have planned for him," I explained.

"What are you talking about?" he asked angrily. "I would never do anything bad to him."

Meanwhile, blood continued to ooze out around my hand, and I could feel what I assumed was flesh under my fingernails. I began feeling disgusted with myself, so I quickly withdrew my hand and pushed Antonio off of me. He just fell to his hands and knees, before pressing Lovino's shirt against his newly bleeding side.

"That was his favourite shirt you know," I mentioned, as my eyes were once again drawn to the piece of clothing. "He'll be heartbroken to see it all dirty with your _filthy_ blood."

"Well how do you t-think he'll react when I-I tell him about this?" the green eyed man retorted, while glaring up in my direction.

"Why would you do that?" I spat. "You'd just look even more pathetic than you _already_ do."

"I may look more p-pathetic, b-but you'll lose your _best friend_ ," he stuttered out, through what I hoped was extreme physical pain.

I turned my back on the Spaniard, so I could wipe my hand on the grass, attempting to remove the red that was staining it. "Like he'd even care, you're nothing to him," I replied casually.

"He kissed me," Antonio countered, confidently.

"That's the biggest load of bullshit I've ever heard, god, just shut the fuck up!" I shouted, provoked by his words.

"It doesn't m-matter what you believe, cause it's true," Antonio claimed. "Lovi wants me, I-I know it."

"Did you not hear me?" I snarled, rage dripping off each word. "I said shut up, and back the fuck off Lovino, he's mine!" As the last few words slipped from my mouth, I felt blush rise to cheeks.

My animalistic instincts had kicked in, and I was tasked with forcing them down. Antonio made me see red. Everything about him angered me: his stupid hair, his stupid face, but most of all the way he made Lovino smile. At the airport, when we first crashed, at the stream; those were the first times in while that I had seen my roommate do that, expect he wasn't doing it because of me.

It was clear that Lovino felt _something_ for that prick, but he had to like me more. I was the one who stuck by him since high school, I was the one who let him room with me while we attended university, I was his best friend.

As my thoughts faded, I could hear Antonio making bizarre constipated noises behind me, but I shrugged it off in favour of picking at the nasty skin under my fingernails. Although, I hoped he wasn't dying, I'd have some trouble explaining that.

* * *

Miraculously we all made it back to the plane, _relatively_ unharmed. I was breathing hard due to the exertion of dragging Antonio back, but it was worth it. As I entered the clearing I was met by Lovino, Eliza and Ludwig. "Eliza, you said you're a doctor right?" I shouted, as the light brunette came into view.

"Yeah I am—oh my god, bring him here," she replied. "Ludwig, go get the planes medical supplies."

"I will," the blond replied, before sprinting off.

I carefully deposed of Antonio where Eliza was gesturing, before turning around to face Lovino. However, he wasn't paying attention to me. My roommate immediately knelt down beside Antonio, and shakily took his hand. "H-hey, everything's going to be okay, don't worry," I heard him whisper to the Spaniard.

"L-Lovi, it hurts s-so much," Antonio rasped out.

 _Bitch please, no one cares_. I wanted to say it so badly, yet I held my tongue.

"Eliza's going to take good care of you, y-you idiot," the Italian reassured.

I was standing a few feet away from the scene, arms crossed over my chest. Lovino was being so weird; it wasn't like him to comfort someone else, let alone take their hand. I began brainstorming ways to get Lovino alone, but luckily Eliza did it for me.

"Lovino, I'm going to have to ask you to leave," she said kindly. "Family and friends aren't suppose to be around for this kind of thing," she explained, not going into too much detail.

My roommate reluctantly let go of Antonio's hand, before looking up at Eliza. "Alright, just make sure he doesn't die," the Italian said in a hushed voice.

He pushed himself up to his feet, before backing up a few paces. "Lovino can we talk now?" I asked, while grabbing his shoulder.

Lovino nodded, before turning his back on Eliza and Antonio. I watched him take one last worried glance backwards, before looking up at me. I led him away from the rest of the group, to an area where we could talk without being disturbed.

* * *

I knew it was now or never, so I took a few breaths, before looking straight at the man I called my best friend.

"What is this about Alfred?" he asked, giving me an annoyed look.

"When I said no one loves you, I meant no one loves you as much as," I paused letting him take in my words, "well, as me."

Lovino's eyes light up with surprise. As I looked into them I could see small flecks of gold, immersed in a sea of forest green. Their hazel colour was just as pretty as in my dream, if only it would come true.

"Alfred," he said my name, sounding as if he was about to talk.

I silenced him by carefully tilting his chin up, and pressing my lips against his. It felt as if the kiss was meant to happen, as if it was fate pulling us together. But just as quickly as it came, it vanished. Lovino flinched, and pulled away. "I forgive you," he said, "but I can't do this."

My heart stopped in it's place, as realization struck. They say disappointment is the nurse to wisdom, but I couldn't see how this would ever have that effect. I guess you can't always believe what you hear.

"It's Antonio," he admitted, breaking the short silence.

"W-what is?" I asked, struggling to talk.

"I think I have feelings for him," he replied.

I gripped his shoulders with shaky hands, as I gazed pleadingly into the eyes I had grown to adore. "You just met him, he isn't good for you," I exclaimed, pointing out the obvious. "Come on Lovino I love you, I always have. What does _he_ have that I don't?"

Lovino just pulled me into a loose hug. My face was pressed into his bare shoulder, and I wrapped my arms tightly around his back. "I'm sorry," he replied. "But _you_ are the one who isn't good for me."

I felt angry and hurt tears running down my cheeks, but I ignored them. All my fighting, all my feelings, all my actions, they were all for _nothing_. Lovino didn't love me the way I did him; it was a nightmare.

I guess some dreams aren't meant to come true, but that could never stop me.

* * *

 **Thank you for reading chapter 6! Please feel free to share what you're thinking so far. Now for the million dollar question: Romerica or Spamano?**


	7. When The Smoke Clears

Day 4

As I awoke, the morning brought some uncalled for deja vu. The sun's excited rays beat down against my eyelid's causing me to wake. Except this time, I was in a comfortable position, and Alfred's presence was no where to be found.

The confession he made the previous night was a dropped bombshell, but I guess so was mine.

I shrugged off the blanket, and felt the frigid wind on my skin. My chest was still bare from the night before, so I gripped the cold metal zipper of my suitcase, and quickly opened it. I rooted through the sparse clothes I had chosen to bring, and ended up just pulling on my black zip-up hoodie.

There was a dull ache in my stomach from lack of food, so naturally I headed towards where Ludwig was. I found him somewhat intimidating, but he was the one who had taken charge, so he was probably my best bet.

I decided to bring my suitcase and a blanket, because the location Alfred and I had picked felt too far from the rest of the group. We had been on one side of the wreckage, while everyone else was on the other. Now that Alfred and I weren't exactly on talking terms, there was no point in staying so far away from everyone else.

Tiredly, I trudged across the dry patchy grass with my possessions in tow, and made my way around to the other side of the plane. Sure enough, there was Ludwig and Eliza. There were sitting by the makeshift fire pit, both with a book in hand.

"Good morning Lovino!" the brunette greeted.

"Hi," I replied.

She crossed her arms across her chest, in mock offence. "What's made you so grumpy?"

I shrugged, before forcing a smile. "I don't know, I guess I'm just hungry," I suggested.

"We don't have much," Ludwig informed, while offering me half a package of saltine crackers and a soda.

"This is fine, thanks," I said, taking the food.

I turned to leave, but Eliza stopped me. "Oh, don't go," she called, "come sit here with me, Ludwig was just leaving."

"Well I guess I wouldn't mind some company," I thought out loud.

Eliza was patting the ground beside her, while looking at me with a smile. Meanwhile, Ludwig stood, and turned to leave. "Yeah, I'm going to see if I can catch something for us to eat," he explained, as he walked off.

I ended up taking a seat beside the kind brunette, while leaving my stuff next to her's and Ludwig's. As I thought about it, I realized I didn't know much about her. "So where were you going when you got on that plane?" I asked, raising my eyebrow slightly.

"I was going to visit my boyfriend," she said with a sigh. "He'd probably super worried."

"He'll be glad to find out you're okay though," I replied, attempting to hold a conversation.

She just stared down sadly, at the cover of the book in her lap. I continued munching on the dry, flavourless crackers, as I waited for her reply.

"When do you think we'll be found?" She asked, while looking hopefully towards me.

Given that Ludwig had said that we went off course, I figured it would take them longer to find us. Also since the pilot had estimated a maximum of six days, I thought we'd be saved fairly soon.

"Ludwig said six days, so I guess tomorrow, or the next day," I answered. "But I really don't know."

Eliza frowned, while looking up in my direction. "I certainly hope so," she sighed.

We sat in comfortable silence together for a few moments. Meanwhile, I thought about the reality of our forest was a prison, and it almost seemed as if there was no hope of escaping. It had only been a few days, yet I was already fearing the worst. After all that has happened so far, I could only pray we'd be saved soon.

"So, did Alfred apologize to you yet?" Eliza asked, breaking the silence, and changing the subject. "He seemed pretty serious about it a couple nights ago."

 _When I said no one loves you, I meant no one loves you as much as, well, as me._ Alfred's words played over in my mind. "Yeah, he did," I replied dryly.

"Ooh, tell me the details," she said, in a sing song voice.

I wasn't really in the mood to relive the previous night, however I did feel like talking to someone. Something told me that Eliza would be able to help me sort out some of my problems; she seemed like the kind of person who would know what to do.

My cheeks were tinted a light pink, as I prepared myself to speak. "A-actually, can I ask your opinion on something?" I requested.

"Of corse, but you better fill me in on what happened between you guys later," she joked, a large smile pulling at her lips.

I played with the sleeve of my sweater out of nerves. "It kind of has to do with that," I explained.

Eliza playfully punched my arm. "Come on Lovino, spit it out already!" she said, while giggling.

"Okay," I began, "let's say _hypothetically_ there's this person who apologized, and confessed their love for this other person."

Eliza's smile vanished, in it's place was a devious smirk. He eyes were wide with interest, as she looked up at me. "Oh my god, Alfred confessed—" she began saying, before I cut her off.

"I said hypothetically dammit!" I shouted, blush taking over my face.

She just shrugged. "Oops, okay, continue with this _hypothetical_ question," she mocked.

"Anyways, so the person who received the apology couldn't accept the confession of love, because he, uh, kind of, sorta, has feelings for someone else," I continued my question. "But like, the person he has feelings for is someone he doesn't know very well, someone who might not be good for him."

Eliza looked at me with a smirk. She seemed to be suppressing some form of laughter. Perhaps asking for her opinion was a bad decision, I thought.

"So what's the question?" she asked.

"I don't know, who should the guy choose?" I answered. "Who would you choose?"

Her mouth formed a straight line, as she furrowed her eyebrows in thought. "Which one does the guy want?" she questioned.

I thought about her question. I figured my reaction to Alfred's confession was an answer itself, but for some reason it felt wrong to completely ignore the opportunity. While the feelings I held for Antonio were legitimate, they also seemed too good to be true. He was handsome, kind, and caring, overall just too good to be mine. I was always the type of person who lived by the phrase, quit while your ahead, but for some reason it just didn't feel right.

"He doesn't know what he wants, only who he has feelings for," I explained, flustered.

Eliza just gave me a look. One eyebrow was raised, and her head was tilted. He lips were stretched into a friendly smirk, and her arms where crossed over her chest. "If I were _him_ I'd chose the one he has feelings for," she replied, "and I would go see him right now," she continued.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, genuinely confused by her statement.

"Oh please, how long did you expect me to keep up this act?" she chuckled. "Go see Antonio."

"W-what?" I stuttered, feeling my cheeks heat up for the thousandth time this conversation. "It's not like that, I-I was just—" she cut me off.

"Go Lovino, you have to tell him how you feel!" she exclaimed.

I was reluctant to speak with Antonio after the events of the previous day. It wasn't just the confession I had made to Alfred, it was the horrible things I had said to him. Plus, it was my fault he got stabbed. I felt nervous and guilty, and I had no idea how to fix what I had done. Also, I was worried he wouldn't want to see me.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Eliza asked, in all seriousness, once she noticed the look of distress that had crossed my features.

"I-I don't think he wants to see me," I replied bluntly. "It was my fault h-he got stabbed, and I called him a rapist," I sputtered out.

"Hey, that's not true," she said, taking my hand in her's. "He was worried about you last night, he kept asking if you were okay."

I crossed my arms over my chest, while glaring at the ground. "I-is _he_ okay?" I asked reluctantly.

I hadn't been worried about another person in ages. The feelings of caring was hard for me to grasp. I had felt it in the past, for Alfred, or my brother, but no one else. For Antonio, my heart had sped up and my breath had caught in my throat. I felt it when he was fighting Sadiq, when I thought he was bleeding out, and as I wondered what condition he was in.

"He was pretty banged up last night, but I'm sure he's feeling better," she encouraged. "Anyways, that's besides the point. I'm sure he'll be thrilled to see you."

"Okay, I'll go," I decided.

* * *

I ended up heading over to where Antonio was. On the first night of the crash we all found sleeping locations, that were relatively close to each other and the plane. The Spaniard's was about twenty feet, away from where I had been chatting with Eliza.

The chilled, patchy ground was hard against my soles, while the cold bursts of wind felt refreshing on my exposed skin. It didn't take long to walk across the clearing, so before I knew it, I was staring down at Antonio's sleeping form.

He must have changed clothes the night before, because he was wearing a black and white flannel, with the buttons undone. He had the blanket pooled by his legs, so I was able to see the defined muscles of his chest. I also noticed that he had his arm wrapped protectively around his bandaged side.

"Hey," I said, done with just looking at him like a creep. I knelt down, and shook his shoulder lightly, in attempt to wake him.

Antonio tiredly opened his eyes, they darted around a bit, before focusing on me. "Hey Lovi, I'm so happy you came to see me!" he exclaimed.

Okay so I guess Eliza was right, he did want to see me. As I gazed at his tousled hair, bright eyes, and sweet smile, I realized I needed to apologize if I ever wanted to get rid of my guilt.

"I-I'm sorry dammit," I stuttered. "I'm sorry I called you a-a rapist and a retarded fuck boy, a-and I'm sorry I accused you of using me, and I'm especially sorry you got stabbed when it was suppose to be me."

Antonio's eyes softened, as he looked up in my direction. He tried to meet my eyes, but I dropped my gaze in shame. "It's okay Lovi, don't worry about it," he replied, offering me a timid smile.

"No it's not _okay_!" I exclaimed, raising my voice slightly. "You're so nice, and forgiving, and caring, and h-handsome, but I'm horrible. Hell, you're hurt because of _me_."

"I pushed you out of the way because I didn't want _you_ to get hurt," he explained. "You don't need to feel bad, especially if you think I'm _handsome_." A small smirk grazed Antonio's lips.

"That's not the point!" I exclaimed, my cheeks heating up slightly. "Look, I just want to know why you did that."

"Because you're worth it, Lovi," Antonio said sincerely. "It's hard to describe, I just have this weird urge to protect you and keep you safe, sorry if that sounds weird."

"N-no it's fine," I stuttered, overwhelmed by my emotions.

Antonio's caring words were making me doubt everything I had once thought. He made me feel so good about myself, which was something I hadn't felt in a while. I felt a small smile tug at my lips.

"Aw Lovi, come here," Antonio requested.

He had his arms outstretched, inviting me for what I presumed was a hug or a cuddle session. "I'm good, y-you bastard," I answered, blush rising to my cheeks.

To be completely honest I wanted nothing more than to be in Antonio's arms, but I didn't want to admit it.

"Are you sure?" he asked, a small frown making it's way onto his face. "It would make me really happy."

"Fine, but I'm only doing it cause I feel bad for you, I don't actually want to!" I shouted, before crawling into the Spaniard's embrace.

"Okay, whatever you need to tell yourself," he chuckled.

We ended up just staying like that. I was laying on my side, head tucked under his chin and on his shoulder. He had an arm wrapped around my back, while his other hand was entwined with mine. I could feel his steady heartbeat under my palm, since our hands were resting on the centre of his toned chest. Meanwhile he was tracing slow circles with his thumb, on the top of my hand. It was oddly comforting, and I felt what I could only describe as happiness.

Antonio was lying flat on his back so our positioning was a bit awkward, but comfortable none the less. "Eres tan perfecto, you are so perfect," I heard him mumble quietly into my hair.

I couldn't help but smile at that.

* * *

After a while, I parted from the embrace. "Just a bit longer Lovi, you are so warm," he said playfully, still holding my hand in his.

"Let go, my arm fell asleep," I complained.

Antonio reluctantly complied. After sitting up I shook the arm that I had been laying on top of, trying to remove the horrid sensation of pins and needles.

"Ugh this is your fault idiot," I mumbled half heartedly.

"Oh ya, I almost forgot!" he exclaimed, changing the subject. "I have something for you."

The Spaniard tried to turned to the side, but ended up falling back with a grimace. He looked up at me with a sheepish look. "Um, can you open my suitcase?" he asked, while gesturing towards the jet black case beside him.

I nodded, before crawling on all fours, the short distance to his suitcase. I pulled on the cold metal of the zipper, and opened the top.

It didn't take me long to notice my navy button up shirt, except it was void of any blood. The last time I had seen it, it was stained with so much red I thought it was ruined.

"How did you get all the blood out?" I asked, internally thrilled to see my shirt in good condition.

"Salt and water removes blood. It took a little while, but Eliza and I got it all off," he explained.

A small smile tugged at my lips. "This is my favourite shirt, I thought it was ruined," I said. "But you cleaned it, thanks."

Antonio shrugged. "You're welcome, it's the least I could do for you," he replied.

We sat in comfortable silence for a few moments. I was facing the forest, my back to Antonio. Thoughts danced through my head, causing me to become lost in them. _It's Antonio, I-I have feelings for him_. I wanted so badly to tell him; I longed to explain my feelings.

He was the one who initiated that embrace. He was the one that told me that he wanted to keep me safe. He was the one who kissed for the first time, and pushed me out of the way. He was the one that flashed me smiles, and held my hand. Yet it still felt too good to be true.

The situation was becoming emotionally stressful. I wanted to tell him, but I couldn't find my words. I could feel the butterflies people always talk about, dancing around in my stomach, as my heart beat began speeding up. "Yeah, well I think I'm going to see if Eliza needs any company," I said, as an excuse to leave.

"Wait, we should talk about the stuff that happened," he suggested.

"We can do that later, I really need to leave," I explained, as adrenaline was spreading through my body like a wild fire.

"But what about that kiss?" he asked.

"I'll see you later Antonio," I said, before bolting.

* * *

I ended up heading back to see if Eliza needed any help with anything. However, once I returned to the fire pit she was no longer there; I figured she must have gone off somewhere with Michelle or Ludwig.

"Hello Lovino," I heard someone say.

I slowly turned around, and found myself facing a blond man with thick eyebrows, and piercing green eyes. I remembered him from the first day, his name was Arthur. I had seen him with Alfred a few times, so I assumed they had become friends. This made me slightly iffy around him.

"Hi," I replied, unenthusiastically.

The British man sent me a seemingly forced smile. "Alfred's told me a lot about _you_ ," he continued.

I rolled my eyes. I couldn't believe Alfred had sent his lap dog to harass me, it ticked me off. "Yeah, I'm sure he has," I retorted. "What do you want?"

The blond crossed his arms over his chest, before bringing a hand up to his chin in mock thought. "I just wanted to know why you would reject him?" he asked. "You haven't fallen for someone else, have you?"

"Look, if he put you up to this—"

Arthur cut me off. "No, he didn't," he informed.

"Then why are you asking me about something that's obviously none of your business?" I asked, becoming increasing annoyed with the pointless conversation.

The British man finally dropped the act. He drew his lips out to a straight line, and hardened his gaze. "You are selfish, and stupid," Arthur accused. "Alfred is the best you could get, so I can't believe you would just reject him."

I assumed the tone the blond man used, was one of envy. So I decided to play on it. "I think someone caught feels," I sneered. "You can have him, just stop talking to me dammit."

Arthur's serious expression changed to shock. His eyes widened, and his mouth was slightly agape.

"You are so ungrateful, you stupid Italian whore," Arthur shouted.

"I'm allowed to say no to someone," I growled, "and it doesn't make me a _whore_."

I crossed my arms over my chest, and glared at the blond man. It was infuriating hearing him imply that I was a wrong to reject Alfred, and he really needed to look up the definition of whore.

The brit rolled his eyes. "Calm down, I was just joking," he said, in his obnoxious accent. "Look, I'm just trying to help you."

"I don't need your _help_ ," I spat.

"Just let me say this," he requested. "Do you really think Antonio wants _you_?"

 _Yes he does, and next time I see him I'm going to tell him that I do too_ , I thought confidently. However, Arthur didn't need to know about that, so I held my tongue.

"W-what are you talking about?" I stuttered, confused. "Whatever Alfred said to you is a lie!"

"I'm just telling you to quit while you're ahead, cause it's not too late," he advised.

I sighed loudly, before rolling my eyes. Whether I had feelings for someone else or not, I would not want Alfred. There were times where I would consider it, but ultimately he wasn't the one for me. Also, there was already someone that I wanted, and his name did _not_ start with 'A', oh wait never mind it did. Well, he certainly was not Alfred, I thought to myself, slightly embarrassed. Anyways, I knew Arthur was just tying to be a good wingman or whatever, but I really was not in the mood to deal with him.

"Yeah so just keep that in mind," the brit said, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah whatever," I replied, before he walked off.

* * *

Later that evening, once the sun was setting, I found myself sitting beside Eliza and Ludwig. After Arthur's violent confrontation, Michelle and the Brit had gone their own ways. Meanwhile, the three of us had decided to just sit around the fire, with books in hand.

You know, what they don't tell you about freak accidents, is the boredom. It's the kind of feeling that begins in your stomach, but stretches itself out until it's taken over your entire body.

"I'm so bored," I mumbled, after the few hours we had been spending reading.

Eliza just chuckled. "Same, but there isn't much to do, but wait to get saved," she reasoned.

Suddenly a new voice joined the conversation. "Actually, tomorrow we could check out that radio tower I found," of course it was Alfred. It was as if he could just pop up, whenever the conversation needed him to.

"Wow, how long have you been standing there?" Eliza joked.

"Not too long," he replied sheepishly. "So do any of you guys want to come?"

I just kept my eyes on the words in my book. The last person I wanted to see at the moment was Alfred's lap dog, but Alfred was a close second.

"I'd like to come," Eliza volunteered. "If we're going to try to get rescued, I'd like to be part of it," she exclaimed.

Out of the corner of my eye, I watched Ludwig pull his radio-like device off his belt. "Here, you'll need this," he said, before tossing it to Alfred.

"Thanks man, I was just going to call on my cell phone though," he explained.

"Try both, that device will let you communicate with other aircrafts nearby, it could help them locate us," the stoic blond, suggested.

"Alright, thanks dude!" he said. "Oh ya Eliza, me, you, Arthur, and Michelle will leave sometime in the morning."

"Sounds good," she replied, before he bounded off.

"Have fun with Alfred tomorrow," I said sarcastically, once he disappeared from view.

Eliza just laughed. "Are you mad at him or something?" she asked. "I thought you guys sorted things out."

I shrugged. "Not mad, just annoyed," I answered. "Alfred's always ruining things for me," I added as an explanation. "Anyways, I'm going to go walk around."

As much as I hated Alfred, It seemed as though Eliza liked him. I didn't want to start anything between them, so I decided to leave out the fact that I was pretty sure Arthur tried to beat me up for my stupid roommate.

"Okay, goodnight if I don't see you until tomorrow!" she replied with a smile.

I chuckled at that. "Yeah, goodnight Eliza."

* * *

I stretched my back and shoulders; they were stiff from sitting in the same position for a large amount of time. The wind caressed my body as I walked; however, occasionally it would nip at me with icy teeth.

Something about the whole situation felt so unreal. It was almost as if I'd wake up in my apartment, surprised with how real the dream had felt. Even though it had only been four days, so much had happened. Some of the time I wished it was all a dream. But hidden among all the negative, were moments that helped to balance it out, people that helped to balance it out.

As my thoughts faded out, I noticed that I was close by to where Antonio and I had talked earlier. Shrugging, I decided to go see him.

 _Antonio was like a light in the darkness of hate and prejudice. Unlike most people, he made me feel happiness, and I longed to do the same for him._

* * *

 **Thank you for reading chapter 7! I really hoped you liked it!**

 **(This chapter had been updated since the day it was originally posted)**


	8. We Could Be Heroes

Day 5

My eyes fluttered open as I was met with a new day. The previous day hadn't been so bad; I was mostly just lazing around and coming up with my plan to get us all rescued. Arthur and I had talked a bit, and I had introduced my plan to the rest of the group, but other than that I didn't do much. All I knew is that I wanted to get home; it had been five days since we crashed, and six since I had slept in an actual bed.

Suddenly I realized I had no idea what day it was, so I decided to calculate it in my head. Lovino and I left early on Sunday to get to the airport, and that was also the day we crashed. So counting Sunday as day one, I knew it was Thursday.

As I thought about Lovino, I flashed back to the words he uttered the day before yesterday. _You are the one who isn't good for me_. The previous day I had been able to distract myself from my crushed feelings; however, now as there were no distractions to keep me occupied, my anger and sadness returned.

I sighed loudly, before pillowing my arms behind my head. I kicked the blanket that covering my body to the side, as I squinted up at the sun. "What did I ever do to deserve this?" I mumbled inaudibly.

Lovino was suppose to be mine. In every single movie I had ever watched it was always the _hero_ who got the princess. Or in my case prince, I thought to myself with a small smile, but that was beyond the point. Either I wasn't the hero, or the _story_ wasn't over; but I am the hero so the latter must be the truth. Lovino was going to be mine before this was done, he had to be.

"Good morning Alfred," I heard Arthur say tiredly. He snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Hey dude," I replied.

I had moved my luggage and everything to where Arthur had been sleeping. Mainly just cause I didn't want to be alone, but also to be closer to the rest of the group. From my position, I could see the rest of the survivors. Ludwig, Eliza and Michelle seemed to be sleeping in a group together, while Lovino was with _Antonio_.

"Can you hear me?" Arthur asked, annoyed.

"Sorry I was day dreaming, what did you say?" I asked.

The brit sighed loudly, before crossing his arms over his chest. "I said when are we leaving?" he repeated.

I shrugged, while pushing myself up onto my elbows. "I guess when everyone's ready."

After replying to the blond, I pulled my hoodie over my head. While I had been washing myself every other day, I figured I should change my clothes. Now that I thought about it, wearing the same outfit for this many days was a bad decision. I shrugged, before pulling out my black button up shirt. The wind was fairly cold, so I quickly threw it on, before beginning to do up the buttons.

Another thing I noticed was how uncomfortable wearing jeans for the past few days had been. Luckily I had packed a pair of khakis; they were much looser, and more comfortable than my ripped skinny jeans.

As I glanced over at Arthur, I noticed he was sitting on some blankets, with his legs out stretched. He was gazing down at his hands, which were on his lap. "Alfred can I tell you something—"

"Arthur can I ask you—" I accidentally cut him off. "oh sorry dude."

The blond played with the hem of his shirt, in a somewhat nervous way. "Y-you go first," he said.

"Do you think Antonio is hotter than me?" I asked, a slight edge in my voice. "Like honestly, I don't think he's that good looking."

Arthur shot me a look I couldn't read, before replying. "Of corse not, he's no where near as attractive as you," he encouraged.

"Thanks man, I just don't see why Lovino would pick him," I said, mumbling the last few words.

Arthur crossed his arms over his chest. "I would have picked you, if I was him I mean," he said before continuing. "Antonio is not very appealing, compared to you he's like a negative three."

I just sighed loudly, while running my hands through my hair. "I would have picked me too," I said. "Anyways, what did you want to tell me?"

Th brit blushed a bit, from what I assumed was embarrassment. "Did you forget?" I asked, nonchalantly.

"No, it just doesn't matter anymore," he answered.

I was slightly curious about what Arthur wanted to say, but not enough to pry for answers. Instead I just pulled out my phone and checked the time. Just as I had estimated earlier, it was Thursday October the eighth, and it the time was 10:36 in the morning. "We should start getting ready," I suggested. "Do you think if I save us all Lovino will change his mind?"

"I don't know maybe," Arthur replied reluctantly, "although you'd probably have better luck if you just killed Antonio," he joked darkly.

I laughed uncomfortably as I remembered my past actions."Already tried that," I mumbled to myself, inaudible to Arthur.

Arthur stood to full height, and grabbed his toiletries. "Well, I'm going to wash up," he explained, "I'll see you later when we leave."

"Bye dude!" I called, as he walked off.

* * *

My conversation with Arthur gave me an idea. I was feeling pretty salty, and I could see Antonio off in the distance. It seemed as though Lovino wasn't around, which meant it was the perfect time to take out some of my pent up anger.

As I trudged over the dead patchy grass, the wind bit at my exposed skin; however, it wasn't too cold. Soon I found myself standing over his form. Instinctively, I hardened my stare while crossing my arms over my chest.

When Antonio noticed my arrival, he pushed himself to his feet with much struggle. I smirked in satisfaction when I saw the grimace that crossed his features, as he stood for probably the first time since receiving his injury. "What do you want," he spat.

"Hey Antonio," I said, a subtle mocking tone embedded in voice. "I just wanted to ask how you're feeling?"

The green-eyed man just glared at me. "Feels like someone stuck their fingers in my side, thanks for asking," he retorted.

"Well that's a real shame," I said with a hint of sarcasm.

As I walked closer to him, he tried to back away. It was oddly pleasing seeing the man than had stolen Lovino from me in such a vulnerable position; it made me feel so _powerful_.

"Why don't you toughen up and defend yourself," I suggested rudely. "Is it cause you're a pussy?"

"You know what? Maybe I am a pussy, cause I know one thing," he admitted, "I'm not a dick."

I rolled my eyes, Antonio probably thought he was pretty clever coming up with that.

"Watch your mouth, I could just beat you up," I warned. "You know how easy it was last time."

I tried to hold myself back from making my threat a reality. As much as I wanted to pound Antonio into a bloody pulp, I didn't want to let my animalistic ways take over _just yet._

"You had a huge advantage, and you still do," he replied.

Antonio was panting now. It was probably from the exertion that _standing up_ was causing him; however, he wasn't backing down.

"You're just mad cause you didn't get your _way_ ," the Spaniard continued. "You're so immature, you really _need_ to grow up."

"Well you look like you _need_ to sit down," I yelled, while aiming a kick at his stomach.

To my misfortune, Antonio dodged my kick, before hooking his foot around the back of my other ankle, and tripping my unbalanced body. I fell back on the dirty ground, with a thud. My breath quickened, and my chest tightened. I never knew I could possess so much rage, yet somehow it was happening.

"Don't mess with me, or you'll regret it," he snarled, attempting to seem menacing.

"So you do want a rematch," I taunted, before quickly getting back to my feet.

Antonio looked at me, with what I could deduct was determination mixed with physical pain. His swift dodge must have exacerbated his stab wound, which would probably make his moves sluggish and weaker.

"Rematch implies we've already fought, but we haven't," he sneered. "You've attacked me in cold blood, that's it."

I rolled my eyes. "Good for you, you know the definition of rematch," I said, sarcasm dripping off each word. "It's too bad I don't care about that technical stuff."

As I ended my sentence, I caught Antonio off guard with a hard shove. He stumbled back a few paces, before sluggishly lunging forward. The Spaniard threw a punch aimed for my face; however, I caught his fist in my palm with lightning quick reflexes. I gripped his shoulder with my free hand, and tackled him. He groaned, and grimaced in pain when we made contact with the hard, partially frozen ground.

"How do you like that?" I yelled, mere inches away from his face.

I was extremely surprised when he moved his arms to shield his face. "Please stop, you're hurting me," he begged desperately.

"I knew you were a fucking pussy," I sneered. Although, I was genuinely confused by his surrender; earlier it seemed as though he would never back down.

Suddenly, I felt hard metal slam into my cheek. The force of the impact sent pain radiating through the left side of my face, while knocking me off Antonio. "Fuck," I swore, while bringing my hand to my cheek.

I was left dazed for a few seconds, before my senses returned to normal. I mentally prepared for another fight, but was both astonished and mortified as I looked up into the face of Lovino. My jaw fell open slightly, as I took in what had just happened. The silver watch that hung around the Italian's knuckles was spattered with blood; my blood. He knelt down so we were at eye level.

"Don't you fucking dare," he yelled.

His words vibrated in my chest, sending shivers through my body. "I-I wasn't going to do anything," I lied quietly.

I was embarrassed. Lovino was calling me out, and saying that what I did was wrong. I was allowed to pick fights; he didn't have to interfere. It wasn't my fault that Antonio made me see red.

"Bullshit!" the Italian shouted in my face. "I told you I don't want you, and I don't _care_ if that makes you mad. You have no right to do shit to Antonio!"

I growled, while gritting my teeth. I hated how my roommate was treating me like the villain, _I'm the hero, Antonio is the one who needs scolding_. Lovino was suppose to be mine; it wasn't fair. My stomach bubbled in anger as I thought about Antonio, yet sadness replaced it as I looked up into Lovino's disappointed stare.

"Why not me?" I whispered, low enough that only the Italian could hear.

He just rolled his eyes, before standing to full height. "Look, I want to feel bad and be nice, but you attacked someone I care about so I'm just going to be completely straight with you," he said, sounding annoyed. "It's not Antonio's fault that he is way less of a bastard than you, so leave him the fuck alone!"

I sighed in annoyance. Had I known Lovino would interrupt, punch me in the face, and then scold me, I probably wouldn't have done what I did. My cheek was still throbbing, and I could feel wetness dripping down from where the watch had made impact. This was all Antonio's fault; had he minded his own business back at the airport, and overall just stayed the hell away, this would not have happened.

"Aw you're so sweet Lovi!" I heard the Spaniard comment in the background.

 _Aw and you'd be so dead, had Lovino not come_ , I thought.

The Italian blushed a bit, before a small smile made it's way onto his lips. "I-I'm talking to Alfred not you dammit," he said, while turning around slightly. "Anyways, go on your stupid mission or whatever, just get out of my sight," he said, when he turned back to face me.

His voice had no malice; it was completely monotone. At least if he had yelled I could blame his words on his anger, yet I knew he meant them. Slowly I stood up, before walking to where Arthur and I had spent the night.

* * *

I had fallen asleep for around an hour, but awoke to Arthur nudging my arm. "Wake up Alfred, everyone is ready to go," he informed.

I turned to face him, but was met with Eliza as well. When she noticed my face, she knelt down beside me. "What happened to you?" she asked.

I sighed, before telling her. "Lovino punched me," I mumbled quietly.

Arthur chucked, before crossing his arms over his chest. "That's going to leave one hell of a bruise," he commented.

The light brunette carefully turned my head to the side, before taking a quick look. "You'll live," she joked. "But Arthur's right, you'll probably have a nasty bruise."

I chuckled at that. "Thanks Eliza."

"So what did you do to deserve this?" Arthur questioned, raising an eyebrow at me.

I sat up, and stretched my back before replying. "Don't know, he must have been in a bad mood," I lied. "Well we better get going!" I suggested, while standing up.

I grabbed my dark brown leather jacket from my suit case, and pulled it over my black shirt. I knew the forest would be on the colder side, so I tried to be prepared.

Eliza also stood up, before leading us towards the forest. "Oh by the way, Michelle said she'd rather stay here," the brunette mentioned. "Poor girl lost her brother, I'm not surprised she's not in the mood to go anywhere."

"Yes it's very unfortunate," Arthur agreed sadly. "It's a real shame there are people who can't just work with everyone else."

The Brit was referring to Ivan and his group. Had they not decided that there wasn't enough for everyone, and just stayed with the rest of the survivors, Francis, Sadiq, and Kiku would not be dead.

"We're all mature adults, I just don't understand why there had to be any violence," Eliza sighed. "They should have talked out their problems rather than fight, now innocent lives have been lost."

The brunette's statement made me feel guilt. I hadn't ended anyone's life; however, I had turned to violence on a few occasions.

"I guess situations like the one we are in cause people to act unreasonably sometimes,"Arthur added. "Ultimately we just want to live through this, and they did what they thought would heighten their chances."

"Yeah," she agreed.

"Kinda seems too soon for every man for themselves," I remarked.

On another note, the sun was high in the sky radiating some warmth on us. It poked through the trees, casting unusual shadows on the ground.

I turned on my phone to check the time. It was 12:54 pm. Last time it had taken us about an hour to reach the hill, so it would probably take around an hour and a half to get to the radio tower. I knew the thing was abandoned; however, if we climbed it there should be some sort of signal. I sincerely hoped that height equals better signal was no myth.

"So how long do you guys think it will take before we get rescued?" Eliza asked. "I mean like after we call for help."

"Hopefully before the end of today," Arthur commented. "But I really don't know."

I stared down at the ground, which was covered in cones, and needles. In some locations there were patches of grass, but wherever there were evergreens they were almost completely covered. We had been walking in silence for a while, unsure of what to say to each other. I shivered a bit, as the sun's heat slowly lessened. We had been out for almost an hour now, and there was still a fair amount of ground left to cover.

In the distance, the slim radio tower was visible. The individual rungs, and rods were slightly hidden, yet overall the tower seemed fairly close. "Not too much further now," I heard Arthur mention, as he also spotted it.

Ludwig's device weight in the back pocket of my khakis. I prayed we'd be able to get signal, because I wanted nothing more to return home. Everything that had happened so far during the crash were memories that I wanted to erase. I wholeheartedly regretted my decision to fly out to Vancouver for those stupid meetings. Had I not, everything would be perfect, or at least better than it was now.

"This is going to work, I can feel it," the Brit said.

"I sure hope it does," the brunette replied.

Eliza was walking a few paces behind me, so I turned slightly to hear what she had to say. I noticed her eyes were bright with hope and optimism. It seemed as though both her and Arthur were optimistic about our plan; however I could do nothing but worry. This was my chance to save everyone, and show my worth. But most importantly, it was my chance to go home. In the past saving others was always my priority, but now as I stared off into the dense forest, I could only think of saving myself.

* * *

A half an hour or so passed, and I found myself at the base of the tower. As I craned my neck to look upward, I saw how frightfully tall it actually was. We were in a small clearing, so there were no trees to block the relentless wind. I heard the old metal creak and grate, yet my determination did not falter.

"So are we all going to climb the radio tower?" I asked.

To be honest, I did not want to be the only person climbing it. While acting alone may seem heroic, moral support is always nice.

" _Technically_ only one person would have to," Eliza suggested. "They could carry both their cellphone and Ludwig's device, and then use both once they get high enough."

"Or we could all go," Arthur added. "What was the point of us all coming if only one person is actually going to climb it."

I stared up at the tower again. The metal was rusted in some areas, and I wouldn't have been surprised if there were screws loose. I knew what we were about to do was highly dangerous, yet backing down didn't seem to be an option.

"If there is service up there, you could contact family and what not," Arthur mentioned.

Eliza's eyes lit up, as she thought about his words. "Alright, I guess we're all going then."

Coincidentally, the base of the tower formed a triangle. Each of us positioned ourselves on one side, before beginning to climb. If I had to estimate, I'd say each side was about six meters wide at the base, but gradually narrowed towards the top. The height was probably a little less than two hundred meters, so extremely high. I doubted we'd have to go all the way to the top though.

Unfortunately, the bars did not create a ladder. They crossed each other in a wide "x" shape, with each "x" narrowing as the tower heightened.

"Well, it's now or never," I heard Arthur say sarcastically, before leaping up and grasping the first rod of metal.

I copied him, then pulled myself up onto the slanted metal. The next rung was completely out of my reach. So I pushed off with my legs, and propelled myself upward so I could grasp the cold bar. Well to be honest, it was more like a rectangular slab of metal. Anyways, I continued doing this until the intervals became small enough for me to reach the next bar without jumping.

After a while, I found myself growing tired. I was probably about half way up the tower. Against my better judgement, I peered downward. The ground felt so far a way; it made my head spin. I could see the towering trees; however, from here they were minuscule.

"Do you think we are high enough?" I heard Arthur shout.

The wind was hitting the us with tremendous force, and I found myself gripping the metal tightly in my hands. "I'll check," I yelled back.

Carefully, I positioned myself so my body was laying flat on the bar, with my legs wrapped around it. Then I unzipped my jacket pocket, and pulled out my cell phone. I crossed my fingers, before turning it on. Unfortunately the words "no service" were written across the top left side of my phone.

"Fuck!" I swore loudly. "We're going to have to go higher."

"Try Ludwig's device," I heard Eliza suggest from behind me.

Wordlessly I pocketed my phone, before pulling out the device. It looked like a miniature radio. I carefully turned the knobs, waiting to hear a voice or somehow be informed of a signal. Suddenly the endless static began to change into words. "Hello...is there someone there...this is flight—"

The voice was cut off by an enormous gust of wind. Just then, I felt the bar under me give under the pressure of the wind. It shook, and moved against the supports. Fearing for my life, I dropped the radio in favour of gripped the bar above me. Had I reached for it a second later I would have been done for, I thought. The bar underneath me completely fell off it's hinges, leaving me dangling over the hundred meter drop. As the metal dropped, so did the radio, and the voice of the potential rescuer.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" I screamed over and over. "There was a voice, someone was there," I tried to explain, as I clambered onto the rail I had grabbed.

"It's okay Alfred, we're just glad you're alright," I heard Eliza say kindly.

"When that bar fell, you gave us quite the fright," Arthur added.

"We need to keep going!" I replied, unfazed by their words of kindness. "It's our only chance to be rescued, we need this!" I hollered afterwards.

Eliza's voice sounded strained as she answered me. "This is a huge risk," she cried. "If it isn't working here, who's to say it will work up there?"

I hugged the slanted vertical metal to my chest. "There was a voice," I repeated myself. "If there's even a chance that I can talk to someone I need to take it."

"Ludwig's device is different from a phone, it can probably receive signals more efficiently," the Brit suggested. "If the phone doesn't work here, I highly doubt it will work up there," he gestured with his eyes to the top of the tower.

"Let's just go back," the brunette suggested.

Arthur nodded in agreement.

"No, not yet," I shouted, as another gust of wind shook the tower. "I'm going to save us, I'm going to get us rescued."

"Alfred, it's too dangerous," Eliza warned. "We're already a good hundred meters above ground, we need to turn back so nothing happens."

"Nothing is going to happen if we turned back, is right," I replied loudly. "We won't be saved, and we won't get to go home."

Eliza crawled along the slab of metal until she was in front of me, on a slight diagonal. "It's going to be okay Alfred," she reassured. "We're going to get rescued, there's no doubt about it."

She gripped the same pole-like structure as I was with one hand, while placing her other hand on my shoulder. "But I want to go home now," I whined.

I was sitting on a shaky radio tower, one hundred meters in the air; I didn't care if I sounded childish.

"We all do," she replied. "I want nothing more than to see Roderich welcoming me home, but if we continue climbing, it might never happen."

The wind was becoming fierce, and occasionally I would feel the tower creak to one side. It was true that continuing would be dangerous; however there was a chance that there would be service. There was a chance that I could return home that night. There was a chance that Lovino and I would walk into our flat, and forget all the horrors that we've experienced. There was a chance that my life could go back to normal. Eliza said it was too dangerous to take that chance, and that my life would be on the line. Yet for some reason I couldn't find the heart to care.

"Let's turn back," I heard Arthur say over the wind.

"Come on Alfred, we won't do it without you," the brunette said confidently.

I wanted to continue, I truly did; however, I couldn't drag Eliza and Arthur down with me. They had loved ones waiting for them to return home; I wouldn't allow my recklessness to hold them back in any way.

Descending the radio tower was a mission in itself. It involved an enormous amount of upper body strength due to the fact I had to lower myself down to reach each bar. Compared to climbing it, the descent took much longer. We were all going at relatively the same pace. Except Eliza, she seemed to be manoeuvring down the tower as if she was a professional.

* * *

Eventually we all reached the ground safely. The radio from the plane was smashed into millions of pieces at the bottom. To be completely honest, it looked the way my confidence felt: broken. We had all tried so hard to get rescued, but in the end we failed miserably.

"Life isn't fair," I mumbled.

"Who ever said it was suppose to be?" Arthur responded sadly.

My body felt heavy with dread, as the three of us began the long walk to the crash site. We walked in a line, Eliza to my right, and Arthur to my left.

I had been trying my best; I had put my all into that plan. But I guess it wasn't good enough; I just wasn't good enough.

 _I'm not good enough to get us rescued, and I'm definitely not good enough for Lovino._

* * *

 **Thank you for reading chapter 8, I hope you enjoyed it!**


	9. Perfect World

Day 4

Antonio was leaning against a boulder. He was focusing intensely on some book; his brilliant green eyes darting across each sentence.

"Hey bastard, I came back," I said, nudging him with my foot.

"Oh hey, I wasn't sure if you were going to," the Spaniard replied, while putting down whatever he was reading.

I clumsily sat down next to him, before shrugging. "What's that suppose to mean?" I asked.

Antonio smiled sheepishly, before running his hand through his messy hair. "Thought I scared you off," he replied.

"I-I just didn't know what to say," I tried to explain myself. "I mean, I know what I wanted to say, but I didn't know," I trailed off.

"How to word it?" Antonio finished my sentence.

I picked at the dying grass to avoid eye contact; the yellow strands were dry and course in between my fingers. "Yeah, that," I mumbled.

I kept my head turned slightly, and my eyes away from Antonio. As I looked up I noticed the sky was darkening. Since I had left Eliza and Ludwig it had drastically changed from pale blue, to a shade of purple.

Suddenly I felt Antonio's fingers on my chin, gently turning me to face him. I could feel his eyes on me, but I couldn't bring myself to meet his stare; it was so embarrassing. "Lovi are you avoiding looking at me?" he asked dumbly.

"No, definitely not," I replied sarcastically.

"Why?" He asked innocently. "You don't find me hideous do you?"

Did he not remember what I had said earlier? Of course I didn't find him unattractive, it was quite the opposite actually.

"N-no," I stuttered.

"Then are you afraid I'll do _this_ ," he asked smoothly.

I looked up to monitor his actions; I couldn't have him trying to pull anything sneaky dammit. "W-wha—"

Antonio caught me off guard by pulling me into a kiss. His lips were pressed against mine, and his hand had moved from my chin to the side of my face. My eyes widened in surprise, and my heart beat was through the roof. The warmth of his lips and overall presence was comforting. I shivered in anticipation; however, soon I relaxed into the kiss and closed my eyes.

I felt myself instinctively inch closer to the Spaniard, wanting to have him closer.

When we parted, Antonio's eyes met mine for a brief second, before I darted mine to the side. "Lovi, look at me," he whispered.

I reluctantly complied. "You didn't want to talk about our last kiss, so how about this one?"

I felt my face heating up. The prolonged eye contact, and his question made me feel self conscious and nervous. "Bastard," I said quietly. "What do you want me to say?"

"What am I to you Lovino?" he asked.

The use of my full name indicated that his question was serious. I noticed he was biting his lip nervously, awaiting my answer.

 _What are you to me?_ Antonio was the friendly man in the airport. He was the guy who was relieved to see I had survived the crash, and the one who kept me company at the lake. He was the bastard who made me cry, but made up for it by switching places with Alfred. He was the idiot who wouldn't mind his own business, and the dumbass who kissed me at the worst time possible. But he was also the man who saved my life, both figuratively and literally.

Antonio was the guy who could make my heart stop, and my stomach flutter. He made me feel happiness and worry and jealousy and so many emotions that were unfamiliar to me.

"Lovino?" Antonio's nervous voice interrupted my thoughts.

"I've never met someone s-so amazing," I whispered the last word.

"Neither have I," he replied, a small genuine smile grazing his lips. "Nor have I met someone so perfect."

I played with the sleeve of my sweater, nervously pulling at the black fabric. "There's no need to be so sappy y-you idiot," I replied, unsure of what else to say.

"I've never met someone so amazing?" he repeated my words, "look who's talking Lovi," he joked.

I blushed at his comment; it was in embarrassment, but also just because I felt so content. As I thought about it, I couldn't remember the last time I was as happy as I was when I was with Antonio.

"Well you're the one who told me to say how I feel dammit!" I shouted in response to his joke.

The Spaniard just chuckled. "You're so cute Lovi," he said.

* * *

Antonio and I ended up just lying down together. I stared up at the dark sky. There were no stars visible, probably due to the hazy purple clouds that covered the surface area of the sky. It didn't matter to me, in fact it reminded me more of home than a starry sky would have. I lived in an urban part of Syracuse, so the stars were rarely visible through the city lights.

I couldn't help imagining how things would have turned out had the plane never crashed. It had been four days since the plane crashed, so had it landed safely I'd have been returning to my home in one day. I closed my eyes, imagining the feeling of my own bed. The cheap sheets would have felt like satin compared to the ratty blanket I was currently on.

But there was one variable I was ignoring: Antonio. He was the one of the very few things the crash brought me that I was thankful for. "I wish I could change the past," I said, absentmindedly. "Do you ever want that?"

"Like go back in time?" I heard him ask. His voice cut through the darkness.

"I guess," I shrugged.

"If I could go back in time, I would of asked you to have lunch with me, right there in the airport," he replied, while wrapping his hand around my own.

I turned slightly to face him. I could make out his figure, but the dark covered him like a blanket. "And then what dumbass, we'd still get on the plane," I commented.

"No, we'd be so wrapped up in conversation we'd miss our flight," he said, matter of factly. "Just imagine that Lovi, it'd be pretty great yeah?"

"I-I guess," I muttered in embarrassment.

"But in all seriousness, as much as I want to hate our situation, hate the plane crash," Antonio said in a tone I couldn't read, "I can't."

I stared at him with a look of confusion that was probably hidden by the darkness. "Are you crazy?"

My heart was pounding in my chest. Maybe, just maybe I was the reason he—no there wasn't a single person who would suffer through a plane crash just to meet me. I couldn't believe I had even let that thought cross my mind.

"Crazy for you maybe," I heard him say with a small laugh. "Without the crash, I wouldn't have met you Lovi. I wouldn't have been able to get to know you, or talk to you; I would have really missed out."

My eyes widened as he talked; no one had ever said anything like that to me before. Antonio really knew how to make me feel good, I thought.

I just tightened my grip on his hand as a reply. I didn't trust myself to say anything without getting emotional.

Slowly I closed my eyes. As horrible as the crash was, I decided that I couldn't resent it either. I would have liked to be home, but not if that meant Antonio wasn't there with me.

Day 5

The next morning I woke up to soreness in my shoulder. I was lying on my side, with my arm behind my back, bent at an awkward angle. I sat up abruptly, to realize that my hand was still entwined with Antonio's.

I carefully slipped my hand out of his, before stretching my back and arms. Sleeping on the ground was very uncomfortable, and left me slightly sore.

I pulled out my phone to check the time, it was 10:25 in the morning. "Hey bastard," I said, addressing Antonio.

I shook his shoulder lightly, until his eyes opened to reveal bright green. "I'm going to see Eliza, I'll be back soon," I informed.

The Spaniard just nodded in response.

I pulled on my brown combat boots, before heading towards where Eliza and Ludwig were.

"Oh hey Lovino, we missed you last night," Eliza joked.

I sat down on a log beside her, before rolling my eyes. "Did Antonio treat you well?" she asked with another giggle.

I blushed at her question. "I-I guess so," I answered.

Eliza cooed. Meanwhile Ludwig just sat there looking uninterested. "So," she dragged out the word. "Tell me the details," she requested.

"W-what?" I said in surprise. "Nothing really happened dammit!" I exclaimed.

"Okay sure," she giggled. "Anyways, I'm going to the radio tower today," she mentioned.

I didn't want to say it, but I was somewhat worried for Eliza. I personally thought it was a horrendous idea to go climb a radio tower in hopes there would be signal. She was such a kind woman I would hate if anything happened to her.

"Be careful," I said trying to sound causal.

"Of course," she replied. "I just hope it works, then we'll get saved sooner."

"Yeah, I do too," I added.

Ludwig looked up from the magazine he was flipping through. "I think it's a fine idea, however I'm not sure how well it will work," he commented. "But I wish you good luck."

"Thanks Lud," Eliza said, smiling at the blond pilot.

The man still made me feel iffy, but he seemed to be an okay person, I thought. "So have you been able to catch anything yet?" she asked him.

"Unfortunately not," he replied. "I hope to in the future, it seems as though we are low on food."

Eliza nodded. "Yeah, sorry Lovino, there really isn't much to go around at the moment."

"But don't worry, as I've said before water is more important," Ludwig added. "We just must make sure to boil the stream water to kill any bacteria."

 _Yeah I know, I've been through grade nine science_ , I thought sarcastically, but opted for a different reply. "Yeah," I said simply.

My back was a bit cramped, so I stood and stretched. I felt something fall out of my pocket, so I bent down to pick it up. It was Antonio's watch. The glass of the face and the silvery lining were cold to the touch.

"Nice watch," I heard Eliza comment.

"Thanks," I replied, while fiddling around with it.

The watch reminded me of Alfred. Or more specifically _crying_ over his harsh words. He would probably be heading over to were I was soon, so I decided I'd head back, and just spend the rest of the day with Antonio.

"I'll see you later, good luck," I mumbled to Eliza, before standing.

"It was nice talking to you, and thanks Lovino!" she said kindly.

* * *

I trudged towards where I had slept the previous night, Antonio's watch still dangling from my hand. Suddenly something caught my eye; it was Alfred. I watched as he tackled the Spaniard to the ground.

My hands tightened into fists, as I charged towards them. As I approached I could hear some of what they were saying.

"Please stop, you're hurting me," I heard Antonio say.

"I knew you were a fucking pussy," Alfred sneered childishly.

That was it, I thought. I quickly adjusted Antonio's watch so the face was across my fist. Next I slammed it full force into the side of Alfred's face, successfully knocking him off Antonio.

"Fuck," I heard Alfred swear from his position on the ground.

"Don't you fucking dare," I yelled. Anger was surging through my body; Alfred had no fucking right to lay a hand on Antonio.

"I-I wasn't going to do anything," he replied innocently, but I could see right through his lies.

My roommate was dumb if he thought I'd fall for his obvious lies. What he did was so wrong, and I despised him for even thinking he could do it.

"Bullshit!" I screamed in his face. "I told you I don't want you, and I don't _care_ if that makes you mad. You have no right to do shit to Antonio!"

Alfred growled like some untamed animal, while I glared down at him.

"Why not me?" He whispered pathetically.

"Look, I want to feel bad and be nice, but you attacked someone I care about so I'm just going to be completely straight with you," I said, feeling extremely annoyed. "It's not Antonio's fault that he is way less of a bastard than you, so leave him the fuck alone!"

"Aw you're so sweet Lovi!" I heard Antonio say, while smirking at Alfred.

I smiled at him shyly. "I-I'm talking to Alfred not you dammit," I said.

I then turned back to my despicable roommate. "Anyways, go on your stupid mission or whatever, just get out of my sight," I said calmly.

* * *

Once Alfred left, I turned around to face Antonio. "Thanks for that Lovi," he said.

"I'm sorry Alfred did that," I mumbled. "He's such an asshole."

"Yeah," Antonio agreed.

"I hope he falls of that stupid radio tower," I added childishly. "He'd deserve that."

"Yeah he would," Antonio laughed a bit.

Antonio and I fell into an awkward silence. I had no idea what to say, and I was both bored and annoyed at the same time. It felt as though we were never going to get saved; all I wanted was to go home. However that being said, there was still a piece of me that wanted to stay at the crash site. It may have been extremely selfish or just downright stupid, but the friends I had made during the crash weren't people I was ready to leave. Throughout my life I always preferred solitude over people; however, this was one of the first time I didn't mind the company. Alfred was always around back then, but other than him I didn't really have too many friends. I guess something inside me wanted to have that security that most people are lucky enough to have.

"Antonio," I said, to get his attention, but just as his name left my lips I wanted to retreat.

"Yeah?" he replied, almost immediately.

I fidgeted a bit, while playing with the hem of my sweater. "n-nevermind," I stuttered.

The Spaniard stared at me, one eyebrow raised. "Now I'm curious!" he pouted.

"Well that sucks," I commented, with a slight eye roll.

"Come on, what else are we going to talk about?" he asked, making an alright point.

I blushed in embarrassment, "fine, I was just wondering if you considered me one of your friends that's it," I said as quickly as I could.

"Of course I do Lovi," he replied with a laugh. "Although I would mind if you were more than a friend," he mumbled audibly afterwards.

"What," I said, feeling more blush rise to my cheeks.

Antonio ran a hand through his hair, while shrugging. "N-nothing?" he said, but it sounded more like a question.

"Anyways," he began, attempting to change the subject. "Want to play twenty questions?"

As a child my grandfather and brother loved playing twenty questions during long car rides, and I personally hated the game. It was such a nuisance to have to guess what animal or whatnot the other person is thinking about. I hardly considered it a game, it was more like a boring waste of time.

"Uh, why?" I asked, reluctant.

Antonio just gave me a sheepish smile. "I don't know, to get to know each other?"

I hadn't played the game in a while, so it couldn't hurt to do it now, I thought. "Okay fine, I'll start."

I waited a few moments to give Antonio time to think of whatever I was going to have to guess, before inquiring about the chosen thing. "Is it an animal?" I asked, unamused.

The Spaniard raised an eyebrow, and squinted his bright green eyes at me. "Is what an animal?"

"The thing you're thinking of!" I exclaimed, while waving my arms for emphasis.

Antonio immediately began laughing. "Have you ever played twenty questions Lovi?"

 _Of course I had, I had gone on road trips before_. "Yes!" I interjected.

"Well the way you play is we ask each other questions and have to answer truthfully," he explained. "Do you still want to start?"

As Antonio talked I felt blush rise to my cheeks; this was so embarrassing, I thought. "Fine, I will!" I said louder than intended.

The Spaniard just chuckled. "okay go ahead."

I furrowed my eyebrows in thought; I had no idea what I wanted to ask Antonio. I'd have to begin with more normal questions before I could ask anything weird though.

"What part of Spain are you from?" I asked unenthusiastically.

"Madrid," he answered. "You know you can ask me _anything_ Lovi," he continued, a smirk evident on his face.

"Yeah," I replied.

Antonio looked at me, and did a thinking motion, before asking me his question. "How many people have you dated?"

I dreaded this question. I've made it exceptionally clear that I was not very unpopular in high school; however, I did manage to date two people during that time of my life. I'm pretty certain they just pitied me, but that wasn't really something I cared about anymore.

"Two," I mumbled in embarrassment. "How many have you?"

I felt my stomach churn in disgust as I awaited his answer; I _hated_ the idea of Antonio dating other people. I guess that was just natural, I thought.

"Eight," he replied. "What do you notice first when you meet someone?"

"That's deep," I commented. "Eyes," I answered.

Antonio nodded, before asking a follow up question. "What do you think of green?"

"It's not your turn!" I scolded. "Anyways, what's your favourite colour?" I asked.

"Red," he replied. "What do you think of green?" he asked his previous question, with a smirk.

"I like it," I said.

Antonio let out a sigh, before laying back on the yellowing grass. "That's good to know," he chuckled, while placing his arms behind his head.

"Do you like tomatoes?" I asked reluctantly. I was out of ideas, and didn't really have anything better to ask.

"Yeah, they're good, why?" he chuckled.

I shrugged, "I don't know I really like them."

Antonio looked up at me, "wait, that wasn't my question!" he exclaimed.

"Okay go," I said.

"When you call me a bastard, is that you trying to be affectionate?" he purred, in a borderline creepy way.

I thought about his question. Well I certainly wasn't calling him a bastard to be mean. I just couldn't bring myself to call him more _affectionate_ words. "Yes," I mumbled.

"That's so sweet Lovi," he cooed, while laughing.

"Lay off me, oh my god!" I said, as my face heated up.

Suddenly I heard someone approaching; I whipped around to see Ludwig and Michelle. "Antonio, Lovino, people are approaching the camp from the forest," the blond explained. "It's most likely Ivan and Yao."

The mention of Ivan sent shivers through my body; I really didn't want to see him again after what happened.

"Why are _they_ here," I heard Antonio say angrily. His previously laid back demeanour disappearing in favour for what seemed like hatred.

I turned to face him. He was sitting up, his green eyes squinted in an intense glare. I had never seen Antonio angry, so this was really a first I thought to myself. His usual casual smile was missing, instead his lips were pulled into a frown.

"We aren't sure," Michelle answered.

"But there's nothing to worry about," Ludwig assured, as his hand travelled down to rest against the gun that was strapped onto his belt.

As the two of them headed back the direction they came in, I looked at Antonio. He seemed to have relaxed, and was acting normal.

"Sorry about that, I just," he trailed off, before instinctively clutching his side.

I suddenly felt myself being filled with rage at the memory of Ivan and Sadiq. The Turk was lucky he was dead cause I'd make him wish he was, I thought. "It's okay, you don't need to apologize," I replied.

"Before we go, I have one more question for you," the Spaniard said, while standing.

I relaxed my expression, before replying. "What is it?"

"Can I be number three?" he asked, a small smile grazing his lips.

"Yeah, I-I'd like that," I answered, a smile making it's way onto my own lips.

* * *

As Antonio and I walked towards the tree line, I felt him wrap his hand around my own. I timidly looked up, and was met with a reassuring smile. "Hey, don't worry," he said, "Ludwig's got this."

I nodded in agreement.

We soon caught up to Ludwig and Michelle, and sure enough, there were Ivan and Yao. He and the other man stood confidently at the edge of the forest. "What are you doing here?" I heard Ludwig ask.

I turned to look at him. The blond pilot was fingering his gun with one hand, while the other was drawn into a fist at his side. His blue eyes were slightly squinted in a menacing glare.

"We mean no harm," Ivan informed, while raising an eyebrow. "You don't need to worry about that."

"What do you want?" the pilot growled.

The silvery haired man looked to the shorter brunet, before turning back to face us. A slight grin contorted his face, before he threw up his arms in mock surrender. "To apologize, obviously?" he answered.

"For some reason you don't sound too sincere," Ludwig spat sarcastically.

"Yeah but are you really going to do anything about it?" Ivan countered, with a seemingly innocent smile. "Go ahead, shoot me!" he challenged.

I felt Antonio tense beside me as we watched the scene play out. "I'd never shoot an unarmed person," The pilot admitted honourably. "I'd never lower myself to _your_ level."

The situation was playing out like a scene from a movie; a movie I didn't want to watch.

* * *

 **I hope you enjoyed chapter 9! Thank you for reading my update, feel free to review!**


	10. Normality

Day 5

I smashed through the shrubs and branches, creating a direct path to the crash site. I thought I could just give up—give up on being recused, give up on Lovino, give up trying to be the hero, but I can't. Giving up was too painful; it was much worse than the pain of trying my best and failing.

"Alfred, slow down!" I heard Eliza shout behind me. "We all want to get back to the camp site, but we don't have to be reckless. Come on, let's take a break."

"No," I replied simply. "I need to get back there, they all have to know how much a fucking fail this mission was."

I slammed my fist into the trunk of a tree to express my anger. I felt the bark dig into my knuckles—the pain was refreshing to say the least.

"Wow calm down," Arthur said in an irritated voice.

"I'll calm down once we get back to camp!" I yelled childishly.

Leaning against the tree, I let out a deep sigh. This forest was hell, and I just wanted to leave.

"I think something's gotten into him," I heard Arthur whisper to Eliza. "It's like he's going crazy!"

I whipped around to face them, my jaw clenched and my features locked in a cold glare. "I can hear you Arthur, I'm not crazy! You're crazy for not reacting like me!" I accused. "Don't you see? Our only plan to get out of here failed, how are you not seeing red?"

Eliza looked at me sadly. "I am angry, and frustrated, and disappointed, but getting worked up about it isn't going to help anyone. Don't give in Alfred."

My expression changed, to that of determination. "I'd never give in, or give up. I'm going to get up out of here, I swear I will," I exclaimed. "I was close to giving up after the plan failed—I was going to give up on rescue, and on Lovino, even on myself. But things have changed and I'm not going to let this tear me down!"

Once we returned to camp, the sun had began to set. The walk had succeeded in calming me down, and I was ready to just sleep. Unfortunately fate had other plans, as I walked into the clearing I noticed two figures standing across from Ludwig and the others.

"What are _they_ doing here?" I shouted to Ludwig.

"Right on time," I heard Ludwig yell back sarcastically.

Arthur, Eliza, and I ran over to Ludwig and the others. I made sure to sent Ivan the nastiest glare I could muster.

"Alfred," Lovino called.

I whipped my head around to face him. "Yeah?"

I noticed his hand was linked with Antonio's, but I kept my composure.

"Did your plan work?" he asked. Hope was gleaming in his eyes, and I felt my stomach drop as I realized I had let him down.

"No, it didn't," I answered, before turning away.

I focused my attention on Ludwig, who seemed to be having difficulty deciding what to do next. "What are you waiting for? Shoot him!" I commanded, gesturing towards Ivan.

Eliza gripped my arm, "Alfred no, we aren't savages."

The cool breeze of the wind blew against my face, and the dying grass crunched under my feet. I was so sick of being outdoors. I knew I wasn't in my right mind—after my failure and the exhausting walk back to camp it would be impossible for me to think straight. The serene nature surrounding us was a prison. My thoughts were clouded with feelings of containment. We couldn't leave here, we couldn't survive, all we could do was fight.

Without thinking, I snatched Ludwig's hand gun, and I fired.

As I squeezed the trigger, the loud bang of the gun was like an explosion in my ears. I watched in fascination as the bullet ripped out of the gun, and slammed into Ivan's chest. The euphoric feeling in my own chest begged me to fire again, so I did. I ran towards Ivan, pulling the trigger with every step. Five more bullets embedded themselves into his body. Each time blood erupted from the entrance wound. Seeing the red liquid stain his clothes made me smile in satisfaction.

"Alfred!" Someone screamed my name, but I ignored them. My eyes were on Ivan's prone form, I didn't want any distractions from the sight.

"You fucking psychopath!" I heard someone else shout—no, it wasn't just someone, it was Lovino.

I whipped around to face him. "What the fuck did you do?" he yelled, tears dripping down his cheeks. "How could y-you kill someone?"

"I'm not going to give up on getting us rescued!" I replied, my voice raspy. "He would have stopped us from getting home, he would have stopped things from going back to _normal_!"

Lovino was backing away from me, fear evident in his eyes. "You don't know that, you don't know anything! We could have negotiated something with Ivan, but you over reacted! He didn't deserve that Alfred; it's not your place to decide who lives and dies!"

"Ludwig," I heard Eliza shout. I turned my head to face her, but just as she entered my vision something was slammed against my head, and all I saw was darkness.

* * *

Day 6

The next morning I woke up next to Antonio. Had yesterday been a dream? No, it was real. Alfred shot an unarmed man, and practically went crazy. Being trapped here must have gotten to him, because the man who shot Ivan was not the Alfred I had come to know. Ever since we arrived here he was acting like someone different, and I guess yesterday he cracked.

"Is everything okay?" I heard Antonio ask, as he put his hand on my shoulder.

"Yeah, I'm just thinking about Alfred," I replied.

Antonio smiled sadly at me, "don't worry Lovi, I'll keep you safe no matter what."

"I don't doubt that," I commented, smiling shyly. "But what I was actually thinking about is how different Alfred's been acting. You know, he was never like this before."

"Yeah, a plane crash can do that to someone," the Spaniard shrugged.

I drew my knees up to my chest, and rested my chin against them. "What if when we get rescued Alfred gets taken away to some insane assylum?" I wondered out loud.

Antonio chuckled. "Is that your biggest worry about rescue?" he joked.

But I wasn't in the joking mood. The event of yesterday scared me. Alfred had been an asshole ever since we crashed, but he was still my roommate. At the end of the day, he was still my best friend, and I cared about him. But after what he did, I was scared. At the thought of living with him again, of him never going back to normal, and I guess just _him_ in general.

"No, there's so much I'm worried about bastard," I replied.

Antonio ruffled my hair. "Hey, everything's going to be alright," he said confidently.

His words of encouragement were nice to hear, but that was the thing—they were just words. "You don't know anything for sure you idiot," I replied half-heartedly.

The Spaniard just pulled me against his chest in response. "Stop worrying Lovi," he whispered into my hair.

* * *

I felt myself being shaken awake. My eyelids were heavy and I was having trouble forcing them open. I tried to move my body, and force myself to get up, but as my blurry vision came to I found that my arms were restrained. I struggled against the bonds, viciously trying to get my arms free.

"What is this?" I roared. "You're going to tie me up like an animal—what, cause I killed someone who _deserved_ to die?"

Ludwig entered my vision. "Alfred, calm down, stop struggling," he commanded. "We're getting saved."

"Bullshit!" I yelled, my raw throat protesting at the action.

There was no way we were being saved; it just wasn't possible. Ludwig had to be messing with me; he probably wanted to get my hopes up, and then smash them to pieces. My mind wandered to Lovino—yeah just like what he did I thought bitterly.

"I'm completely serious Alfred," he said sternly. "I shot the flare a few moments ago, and their coming this direction." Ludwig gestured towards the sky.

I craned to search the sky. At first I saw nothing, but suddenly the roar of an engine, and unmistakable hiss of propellers hit my ears. My heart was racing—finally, I could go home.

"I'm going to untie you now," the blond informed. "I pray you'll behave," he added, as if I was some mischievous kid.

Within about twenty minutes, the chopper landed in the clearing. And from that moment on, everything felt like a blur. The man in the uniform shouted orders into his radio, he asked an enormous amount of questions regarding our situation. He helped Antonio with his stab wound. The next thing I can recall is being loaded onto a helicopter—a different one than the original that landed, the man must have called for back up.

I can vaguely remember the flight back to Toronto. and the bustle of the hospital we were taken to. I can remember the interrogation. Everything from that point is blurred out of focus—maybe the memories are repressed, or maybe I just can't recall. But one thing that never faded was the guilt. Once I got out of that forest, what I did no longer seemed justifiable. I went against all my values, and was reduced to what I could only describe as a feral animal.

I deserve to be punished. I'm done with the delusion that somehow my actions were necessary—I know I'm no hero.

* * *

"Lovino!" I heard someone scream, before I was practically tackled to the ground. "They said I couldn't see you cause you were getting checked my the doctor but it's okay cause I can see you now! I was so scared, I thought you were dead! When I heard your planed crashed I-I could only think of the worst but you're here, and you're okay, and I'm just so happy my brother is safe!"

It was the unmistakable high pitch voice of my brother. He always talked too much, but this time it didn't bother me. I tried to roll my eyes and shrug him off, but instead I found myself smiling. I turned around and faced him. For the first time in ages I found myself happy to see my younger brother. "Feliciano," I said, trying to suppress my smile. "I-it's good to see you," I mumbled.

Immediately, he wrapped his arms around me in another hug. I awkwardly patted his back, "I'm just so relieved," he said quietly against my shoulder.

"Yeah, so am I," I said.

It felt like maybe, just maybe, I'd be able to feel the normality that I used to have once again. No matter how I imagined it, things would be different. I looked towards Alfred, who was struggling against the handcuffs restraining him, and then to the room where Antonio was getting treated for his injuries.

Things would definitely change, some for the worse and some for the better.

* * *

 **Thank you for reading my final chapter! I'm sorry if it seemed rushed, or didn't end in the most preferable way. To be honest, I had trouble writing this because I lost motivation to write this fanfic, but still wanted to end it somehow. I hope it was to your satisfaction.**


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